Getting Nowhere Fast - Still feeling confused about Orientation

Huh, second thread on this part of the forum already. (First thread for anyone that's interested - http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...entity-support/101904-extremely-confused.html) This will probably be another long one.

So, as it stands, I'm still going through a really drawn-out bout of questioning and it's safe to say it's starting to really bother me. Good thing about this forum is you can get your thoughts out and get some advice from others, it's really helpful.

I kind of feel like an anomaly when it comes to "discovering" myself - when I realized I liked girls, I just dated girls. I've never been with a guy before, unless a few-month LDR with another 11 year old really counts. (It was one of those where you call and just talk to one another about silly pre-teen stuff).

I decided to "try" an "experiment" the other night - I just looked up "sexy men/women" on the internet, no porn or naked folks, just regular folks that society would generally consider "attractive". I didn't get particuarly aroused by either, but I had been looking at the men more (The men all generally had similar kinds of features, short, spiky hair with stubble, muscular whatever). I was just kind of neutral towards the women; Needless to say it freaked me out and I went to bed feeling frustrated. Yet today I had been hanging with some friends and we went to one friend's sister's place. His sister is like, 20 or 21, am not sure of her exact age. And I just kind of found her attractive/pretty at random. She had showed us some old facebook photos herself when she was like, 17-18, and I was a bit blown away.

Other details:
My family was never really homophobic, we're a mixed-ethnicity/mixed-religion family (Catholic/Protestant/Agnostic/etc), so my family has always been one to showing acceptance toward everyone. I went to church and all that when I was a kid but I can't recall any time that I was taught being homosexual was a sin, so I doubt I'm feeling this way because of religious reasons. I also can't recall crushing on a guy hardcore, but I still feel super confused.

This is a summation of most of my thoughts:
- I feel like I should date a guy to be absolutely sure, but I can't say that I know any guys that I'd be seriously interested in dating, at least as of this moment in time. I dunno, I see most of my guy friends platonically and get kind of freaked if I think they might like me.
- But then it's like, what if I enjoy dating guys more than girls and it turns out I am straight and it really was a phase. At this point I'm kind of accepting it as a possibility, but it makes me disheartened.
- I feel like I mistake a lot of my friendship interest in guys as thinking I have a crush on them. Then I wonder if I really do have a crush and am mistaking it for friendship.
- Illogical thought - What if I'm just suppressing heterosexual tendencies? Like, what if I'm really attracted to guys and don't want to admit it?
- I know it's a bit early to go by labels, but I've wondered if maybe I'm a bisexual, sexually fluid, a bisexual homoromantic or a biromantic homosexual. These kind of make sense to me, but I feel like I'm getting too specific.
- Sometimes, when I try to imagine spending life with a guy, I either a.) figure myself the "guy" and am still dating the girl or b.) It doesn't really seem like me. Thinking of being with another girl makes more "sense" I guess.

And again, a lot of thoughts like this. I just feel really freaking confused and I wish I could figure it all out. I was alright for the most part today but I'm starting to feel hopeless about this whole thing, like I should just accept my straightness and get over it; Some thoughts are just like "You're straight. Stop denying it." Yet I can't just disregard the past 4 years of my life either. I feel like I'm going through a crisis and I need some help.

I know it does get better but as of now I just feel crappy.

:help:

 

Thanks for the quick, to the point response.

I've fiddled with the possibility of being bisexual (mostly attracted to women), but I don't want to use the label in the offhand chance it's a "stepping stone" of sorts. I don't think it's really fair to people who are legitimately bisexual, you know?

The thing with dating a guy is that, well, I don't really feel 100% okay with the idea. I mean, I would give a guy a shot if he asked me out, I guess to be nice. But I don't think I'd ask one out (or there's a small chance I would if I was interested enough). I don't really wanna force that option if it feels uncomfortable/weird. However, given the opportunity, I'd ask a girl out if I was interested in her and vice versa.

Will also agree with the second sentence, I can't deny that because that's generally how I feel. But there's always that like 10% of uncertainty and that's what really bothers me. When I doubt myself, I really doubt myself and spend a LOT of time thinking about it. I think a lot of this stems from a lack of confidence and low self-esteem as of now.

Again, thank you for your response. It helps a bit.