I think that may be in fact what my problem is.... I try to focus on both same sex fantasies and opposite sex fantasies, same sex does not turn me on in the slightest, but opposite does. I am also more conflicted on the Porn does not prove sexual orientation thing; I even tried looking pictures of semi-nude men and nothing came to mind. But just looking at a fully clothed female cosplayer; WHOA MAMMA! getting a little hard down there? At least that is how I feel, but I am keeping an open mind and am not jumping to full conclusions yet, I am still technically a virgin and never had a girlfriend yet so it is still too early to conclude I am as straight as I currently believe. But just by fantasizing and cannot seem to fantasize myself in a gay situation just leaves me to believe I am not.
You might not be able to see it, but there's still that pull... nothing wrong with being curious, and nothing wrong with questioning. Suppose you are straight -- does that mean you can't, or shouldn't, be able to explore same-sex fantasies or attractions? There's this idea that straight men cannot, under any circumstances, have these thoughts or feelings. A double standard, if you will, regarding male sexuality. I like to call it the "gay one drop rule". Women are given much, much more leeway when it comes to these things, but are they made to feel any less straight for them? It's generally accepted in our society (you are American, right?) I've noticed you've changed your label quite a few times. That will have to stop, for the sake of your sanity, especially when you try to mold yourself to fit those labels. Again, arousal =/= attraction. I'm still turned on by women, wouldn't turn down sex if offered, but ultimately see myself in a relationship with a man. Not that my situation is the same as yours... just proving a point.
I see your point, but if not getting it up to men but to women instead is a sign of heterosexuality, and wanting as well as lusting for them does not count? Yes I am American and yes; I do agree that women are given MUCH MUCH more leeway towards having certain same sex attractions/feelings/ect. and yes; I do believe that men feel this way sometimes too and don't own up to it because society's issues with black and white sexualities. In fact I think black and white sexualities is one of the many issues with modern society and kind of influences why I kind of hate it. I do think that there is SOME SORT of pull; mostly because I have no reason to believe I am heterosexual overall because I have only experimented once in my life and I do not count that because I was too young to understand what me and my friends were doing and the lack of any penetration. I of course do not plan to change my label again and I will keep it like this until then. I will also keep an open mind and experiment as much as I can with my sexuality because like I said; I have no 100% to believe I am hetero, I just think I am: Hetero------------------Me-----Bi------------------------Homo
Well, whatever you are, try not to let these labels and restrictions stop you from enjoying life. Take the older men of EC, who have married, started families, and struggled coming to terms with their sexualities. I'd hope they don't have regrets, and I say it's better to make a move, even a "bad move", than sitting around and wondering "what if". Life is too short, and unpredictable, for that. Some would say you're straight, stop worrying, while others might tell you they have wanted, enjoyed, and even thought of sex with women, especially during their early years. One member said anything turned him on in his teens and twenties. Just like with sexuality, people like to draw distinct lines between in-denial, closeted, and fully out, when it's not so simple for most of us. We go back-and-forth, sometimes staying between these stages for years. Some have always known; others, not so much. Either way, you're as much a part of this community as the next person. Just go with whatever feels right at the moment, and things should hopefully start making more sense to you, even if slowly.
Thank you, and of course, I will not let these labels or anything get in the way, I will indeed just let come what may as I should have done the first time; but I don't think I am in denial of anything really, of course that may change as time goes on, but of course, keeping an open mind until then and so far my heart is telling me to continue going for this girl I met on the internet. I at LEAST know I am hetero-romantic.
I considered myself a straight-leaning bisexual when I first joined, but lately have had men on the mind, even while still being aroused by women and keeping my heterosexual habits. Some have said I'm still where I first started, while others might see it as making progress. I don't dwell on it. Several other members have joined as more "center of the road" bisexuals and changed to fully gay not long after, and whether this is due to aligning with their natural orientation, or feeling the pressure to fit in with the rest of EC, I cannot say. Honestly, I'd rather labels didn't exist at all, and people could just sleep with whomever they wish and without judgment or stigma, but that probably won't happen since humans have a natural tendency to self-segregate over the smallest differences.
When I first joined, I still had the constant intrusive thoughts of men, and on occasion still do, I say intrusive mostly because I was never turned on by them, I was also curious as to why and how I got them curiously after reading that article that started the hubbub to begin with, which makes me believe I am just curious. As for labels non-existing, I completely agree 100%, I unlike alot (and I mean ALOT) of american's, I consider myself an open minded and very liberal person, I was not always like that though; when I was a kid I was a Xenophobic/Sexist kid who always hated new things, and in some cases regarding films and music and other entertainment, I still am close minded, however my morality is 100% different since when I was a kid. I can understand how Bisexual may lead and tend to people coming out as homosexual in the future; I am not 100% like my brother who thinks anyone who identifies as Bi is "definitely in the closet" (me and him don't get along, he represents the complete opposite of me) but I do think there is a possibility that people who identify as such are in denial, however, I do not dwell on it or call them out on it because it is not my business and I don't want to hurt them if it is that shameful for them. However, if they come on this site I will try to help them if they ask and definitely give them very much the same advice you and many other's have given me. To which I thank not only you; but everyone for.
That could be many things... I'd want to discover where they originate, why you're having them, if there's something else you're not telling us, or even yourself. As far as bisexuality goes, it's a legitimate orientation, and I sometimes think people on both sides of the "fence" are in-denial of this fact. It's threatening, blurs the lines between the duality most people are comfortable with. Not everyone who identifies as bisexual is a closet case: see Bon Jovi vs Elton John. A world of difference, no? Even if majority of self-identified bisexuals are transitioning, isn't that just more reason to have gay support? They know what it's like to have their sexuality dismissed as an illness, curse, or confusion, and do the same to others in the community. It's like shame on you twice. It's almost impossible to measure sexuality on an individual basis, with so many millions identifying as this or that. A lot of grey area, and yes, there might even be a few individuals who identify with LGBT community and identity who scientifically aren't. They should have that choice, though. Since when has identifying as gay been a bad thing?
How about we trust out gut instinct when we try and figure out who we are? Do you really need labels to define yourself? The most important question that anyone can ask themselves is 'Am I happy'
Did I say something wrong? Because I did not mean to offend if I did; I was simply stating that there is always a shred of possibility. I think the images in my head are practically and simply variations of the porn I've watched throughout the many years but simply replaced the women with men; the visions in my heard do not show any faces but they show their nude bodies and what not. I've also noticed a pattern in my sexual fantasies in general and saw that they take place in some room where everything is blue, blue walls, blue furniture, blue everything really. Another possible origin is mental memories of things I saw on my typical free porn site that has a diverse array of category's of porn, straight, gay, lesbian, the works! I caught a few glimpses of porn that weren't necessarily my taste (not just gay porn, but other fetishes I don't like either >.>) in the front page recommended gallery. As for things I am not simply telling you, I am honest with you on this; that I am telling you everything I know, unless there is something my mind is doing it's best to hide that even it cannot find it, I am unsure of what I can do.
You said nothing wrong, I was just ranting a bit. It's probably been said, but try cutting back on the porn and try to rely on your imagination. You'd be surprised what the human mind is capable of, on its own! Color Psychology - Blue ^This might also be helpful.
Oh yeah, well that too is an option. :lol: I also noticed the more productive in blue rooms too. I guess your definition of productive is as good as that, well.... :lol:
