Please help! I'm a 20 year old girl in college and I don't know if I'm gay or not. I always had boyfriends growing up but during my senior year in high school I started thinking of girls in a different way. I started talking to a gay girl in my school for advice and she kind of helped. My freshman year of college I joined the rugby team (where most of the girls were gay) and I felt comfortable being myself. I started to have a fling with this girl but it never went past making out. It was only easy for me to kiss her when I was drunk. I could not find it in me to do anything with her while sober, especially going farther than making out. She then cheated on me and it felt like she broke my heart. I then decided I should just stick with men, but out of the multiple guys I have had flings with I can't seem to be fully sexually attracted to them. I'm still attracted to cute guys, but there is always that butterfly feeling I get when I think a cute girl likes me. I don't know what's going on. I so want to be sexually attracted to men, but it just hasn't happened yet. But then again I don't think I would ever have sex with a girl. I'm just really confused and I am hoping someone can help me figure it out. It's hard because all of my real close friends think I'm straight and only straight. I have no one to talk to. This is killing me not knowing who I am exactly.
Re: Please help! You are you, it's as simple as that. Sexuality isn't something that is easy to label a lot of the time. It's not a line you are somewhere on, and it's impossible to give a proper label to a lot of people, and you should never feel the need to. What's important for you to do right now is to sit back, relax, and just enjoy yourself. When you stop stressing about labeling yourself and being yourself, that is the only time you will truly be yourself. It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or somewhere in-between. Instead of focusing on that, focus on meeting a nice person you have feelings for. If you find attraction to a male, then go for it! It doesn't make you straight, it just means you like him. Same goes if you find attraction for a female. As long as you're happy with who you're with, why should labels ever matter?
Could it be possible that maybe you're bi-romantic? Some people just don't have a sexual attraction to either sex, but can still love them just as fully. It isn't bad to not have a sexual attraction, though it can be stressful in relationships.
I think you should work on trying to accept your attraction to girls, perhaps try and join an LGBT group, tell yourself its ok to be attracted to girls, don't put pressure on yourself about kissing or more with girls, whether or not you meet a guy or a girl will happen as and when but I think if you could accept your attraction you might feel that you find it easier if you do meet a girl you like and then once you are ok with being attracted to girls you can reassess your attraction to guys.
