Hello there EC :smilewave. This is probably going to be a long thread, and I apologize in advance for the long read. I would appreciate any input on my situation though and hope that maybe someone can relate to my situation and gain a little bit of insight for themselves too! Although I have read a lot of similar posts, none of them fit how I felt exactly, so I was hoping I could ask for some opinions that anyone had about my identity. I'll try to segment my post so that it will be easier to understand and maybe it'll allow some of you to skip to parts that you want to read . I'm a guy, who identifies and a male and homosexual, but not sure about my romantic attractions. I'm completely in the closet. Recently, I wanted to tackle a concern of mine that sometimes makes me question my romantic orientation, even though I'm pretty certain that my sexual orientation is homosexual. I feel that although I would never pursue a relationship with a girl, knowing more about myself is important because I want to be be honest with my future guy that I'm involved with, as well as family and friends. Additionally, I want to know for myself because it's just driving me crazy. Sexual Orientatation Guys I'm not very experienced or old, so a lot of my determinants that make me think I'm gay include things like checking guys out when I'm out in public, fantasizing about a relationship with a guy, and just in general having crushes and wanting to be with guys, both physically and in a relationship. When I check out guys, I usually appreciate facial features and general stature. I often catch myself looking at guys who I think are cute, and sometimes at the clothes they wear. I kind of have a thing for tall guys and appreciate someone well-built yet lean. I often think "wow that guy is cute" or "damn, I wish I could just hold hands, hug, and be intimate with him". When I fantasize sexually, I'd say its more half and half. I think about gay sex, but sometimes I think straight sex is a little more appealing. I just think that in straight sex, the mechanics make a little more sense and usually when I think of gay sex it's more foreplay or oral rather than anal. Perhaps this might just be because I'm more used to seeing straight sexual advances in the media and stuff. I can definitely imagine kissing and doing all that with a guy, and both being pleasured and giving satisfying pleasure. When I do think of straight sex, I know I'm concentrating on the guy and either appreciating his attractiveness, his assertiveness or actions, or thinking about how he is pleasured, rather than appreciating the girl. Sorry if that was too much information . To summarize my sexual fantasies, I have both gay male and straight fantasies, but I think my straight fantasies exist because they're more prevalent and it's still sex, so it still turns me on. What do you guys think about this? There are less concrete pieces of evidence also, such as having a natural counter-clockwise hair whorl, or having my hair sway to the left naturally. I realize this isn't really related to how I feel, but supposedly, and scientifically, gay men are more likely to have a counter-clockwise hair whorl, or at least that's what some studies say. Girls I have never voluntarily or naturally wanted to check out a girl, meaning any part of the body. I think once upon a time I tried forcing myself to check out girls just to make sure, but never derived any pleasure or satisfaction from it. Sometimes I can imagine myself being pleasures by a woman by I can never imagine enjoying giving pleasure back or admiring female body parts. I'm not sure if that means anything. I don't appreciate breasts, bottoms, general body shapes of anything, faces, of girls. Romantic Orientation Guys I can definitely see myself both dating, and spending my entire life with a guy who I love and who loves me back. I often imagine have crushes on guys and haven't had a crush on a girl since seventh grade. When I fantasize about relationships, I think I fall for guys who are really upbeat and social. I think of going places with particular crushes, travelling with them, living with them, and just being snugly and loving each other. Girls For the average girl, I really can't imagine myself in a relationship. Once in a while I do think I connect with several girls more emotionally, as in I can talk to them about serious matters easily and about relationships. It might be important to note 90% of my friends are male, and I do fulfil a number of stereotypes but I haven't had anyone ask about my sexuality. Anyways, I don't think I would ever fall for a girl again, but sometimes I can imagine myself spending time with a girl one on one, going places and having fun, but not travelling or growing old together. I'm not sure if that's enough information, but I guess I can't really think about anything else at the moment. I definitely can't imagine having a family with a girl or buying her nice things or having her do the same for me. My heart tells me I'm a homosexual homoromantic, but does it sound like I might be biromantic? The only difference being romantic or platonic feelings for girls. If I think about anything else that might help I'll be sure to mention it. Thank you for all your help.
Hey I still get this a bit.. to me I think its just habit from trying to think I was straight for so long, and society's impact. It seems to be fading, but then sometimes it comes back so I dunno... I know lesbians who only get into gay male porn, straight people into gay porn.. I can get into all sorts.. I dont think that determines sexuality. Are you into feminine guys? Because theres alot more in common between girls and feminine guys than there is between feminine guys and masculine guys. As for romantic... Same thing I guess, and remember porn isnt romantic at all.
I hope it's just some reminisce of thinking I was straight when I was younger too, or I won't feel completely honest saying I'm gay. I agree that sexual fantasies don't conclude too much, but it is a gauge for some people. Yeah, I do think I am into more feminine guys, I just love how open, fun, and really cute they typically are in comparison to maybe more masculine guys who I find a little harder to relate to and a little cold. So maybe it's just me enjoying that type of personality. I do think a lot of times girls can potentially be more gossipy and immature than I like, but I think I can relate to feminine gay guys more. Hope there wasn't anything offensive in there; I know feminine and masculine gay guys are a sensitive topic .
