Please help! Need advice! Am I bi?

Most people I think would suggest that if you're thinking that way about guys you're probably bi. Some would say unless you actually DO it, you're not.

Personally, I think if you're thinking about it, you *are. Until the first time you do it with a girl you're considered straight with no more than thoughts to go on after all.

EDIT: probably are

 

I disagree 100% with what Ellia told you, from what you stated, it sounds like you are what you claim your orientation to be. Having thoughts about a certain sex or person in general means NOTHING! It's about what you feel that matters, take me for example, I question sometimes and have same sex fantasies every now and again and started to get them when I started to question, but in time I realized, having them is not as important as how I FEEL about them. Of course I am not 100% and not betting on ANYTHING because I never even went out with ANYONE but only had crushes on women which is the only thing I can be sure of; however, my sexual orientation seems to be at least straight but that could possibly change through further experimentation but I doubt it.

Basically, I am curious because despite me not getting turned on by thoughts like these, I still wonder if in reality I would, I of course don't go looking for situations where I could, but the thought lingers everynow and again; basically' you're curious, simple as that.

 

Hi unknown. It's interesting to see the opposite side of this! Out of interest, where do you put the tipping point between bi-curious and bisexual?

 

Tell me, how is it you feel about these thoughts, do they turn you on? Do they arouse you; does it make you hard? Or does it feel weird, or uncomforting? If it is the first, you could be Bi; or possibly, even gay. But if it is the second one; you could just simply curious. Then you have your answer.

---------- Post added 6th Aug 2013 at 11:10 PM ----------

Bicurious example; Do I like this?

Bisexual example; I think I might like this....

 

This could be hard to settle in but... you could in fact be gay. You practically just mentioned the one fantasy that turns you on the most, and it leads into a very obvious gay leaning. Of course, that is to assume all of your opposite sex fantasies do not turn you on at all either, tell me; do you have any fantasies of women that turn you on; on a similar or equal and possibly even higher level than that aforementioned same sex fantasy?

 

Common stereotype: Women can identify gay men 100%, no faults. NOT TRUE! So do not take her opinion about YOUR sexuality get to you because it is YOUR business alone, not hers, she has no right to tell you what you are, any more than I do; which is why I use words like "MAY" or "POSSIBLY" and more often than not; "PROBABLY" because I could be wrong and of course think you should figure it out yourself.

If this is lately; I'd try to take mental notes of it. It of course could mean SOMETHING but it may just be nothing; you would not be the only straight/bi guy that happens to LOVE anal play and other cunnilingus acts. So this could just be a fetish and your unexplored bi/homosexuality coming out into your conscious mind for the first time in many years; or be just a weird fetish like said before; in my opinion, too early and not enough information; I recommend keeping a journal with you and writing down what it is that goes on in your mind as well as express your feelings on it, before; during; and afterwards. In time; you'll find yourself, in the mean time; go with the flow, and don't worry, your wifes friend should not get involved in this sort of thing, because if you do find out that this is really just nothing, and your marriage has ended, it could be bad for you and her.

 

"she thought i was gay from the day i met her"

Unless you did something on that day to suggest you might be I wouldn't worry to much about that bit...

 

I think you are Bisexual possibly, of course from your story it sounds an awful lot like you lived your whole life without even giving a thought to these desires; basically; it COULD be your bisexual side finally making itself aware to you and does not want to be ignored anymore. As for your sex life; search the internet to spruce up things in bed. It could also be that you just simply are having a huge craving for dopamine (a chemical released in your brain when you feel pleasure) and need a sufficient release.

 

Hi there! It looks like you're searching for closure, and you've definitely come to the right place. Ten years is a bit long to let curiosities go unanswered, and you're wondering if you could potentially swing that way, but aren't sure yet.

I know what you're feeling, since I was there last year, and even several months ago on EC. It can be many things: scary, exciting, and confusing, but hey, that's life in general. It involves risks to move forward.

Personally, I'm glad I found this community. I haven't always been, living so long in-denial, running whenever "gay" came up and making excuses, but I'm finally starting to settle in with the idea, not that you will go down the same path. Who knows, if not for my exposure to the community, I might have blindly married the first woman who came my way, all the while feeling empty and miserable, without knowing why.

And it's funny, how some people can just *tell* when someone is or isn't, while that person is completely unaware, assuming themselves to be straight. I guess we're not as good at pretending as we think? :lol:

 

I'm not such a huge fan of telling others "YOU ARE! ACCEPT IT!" since there was a lot of that when I was still coming to terms with myself, and it only resulted in more anger and frustration towards the community, but, it's definitely a possibility. There are many members on the site who recall times when others would imply it, either when they were closeted, or in-denial.

I've checked girls out, gotten off to straight porn, fallen in love with women, even enjoyed sex with them to a degree, but that was before "testing" the other option. Some people always know, and others? We go through life assuming we're straight and feeling unfulfilled. There's a debate whether I'm bisexual or gay, though I can say my preferences have definitely shifted to men recently, though I still sometimes think, "She's hot" or "Could I date her?" They're fleeting usually, and my thoughts usually go back to my same-sex attractions.

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. :eusa_clap

 

It will take time, we will help you, but you certainly will not learn it in a days night.