So my boyfriend (now ex) recently told me he didn't think I'm really bisexual. I asked him why and he just shrugged and laughed. He was quiet for awhile then said "come on. You've never dated or had sex with a female before. So how can you be bisexual?!" I just stared at him and said I can be bisexual the same way if I was lesbian and could never have dated or had sex with a woman! He brought up old insecurities about my sexuality that I had gotten over a long time ago. I'm more attracted to men, but it doesn't stop my attraction to women. My first sexual experience was with a girl when I was 11. My first kiss was with a girl. Just because I haven't dated or had sex with a woman doesn't make the way I feel invalid. I've actually had a long time crush on a girl from my high school. I graduated before her, and even though we keep in contact, I still haven't told her how I feel. He's not the first boyfriend of mine to question my sexuality. I don't think I've ever dated a woman because 1. I'm not sure how my family would react. Though my mother is accepting, how would she react when I bring her to dinner. 2. I've never met any woman who wasn't "play-bisexual or "play lesbian". All the woman I've met who told me they were lesbian or bisexual flip flopped and wouldn't give me the time of day. Only my crush has stayed true. And 3. I've never met a woman that was attracted to me. I'm only 21... So maybe I haven't been out of high school and in the real world long enough to meet mature people. I'm always afraid to approach women. Now I'm questioning myself due to lack of experience.:eusa_doh:
Don't get all het up, if you identified as bisexual, and you have had real emotional and sexual feelings for women, then you are bisexual. I know completely that I'm gay even though I've never gone all the way with a guy. (Haven't even kissed one tbh). A lack of experience doesn't mean that you've got your sexuality wrong. Just remember, you're extremely unlikely to be solely attracted to the opposite or same sex, or equally attracted to both. It's a sliding scale and you make well be closer towards the "straight" end of it. Just calm, and ignore him. He's straight, he doesn't get it ride:
Try not to focus on your lack of experience and more on your feelings. Take me, as an example. I'm fifteen and I have only kissed a girl, yet I am 100% sure I am lesbian because of the romantic and sometimes sexual feelings that I get towards girls/women, which I don't get towards males. About the not meeting anyone who wasn't "play-lesbian/bisexual", you could go to LGBT community activities or clubs or something to meet more women who may be attracted to you! Your boyfriends (I'm assuming) were not bi or pansexual so they would not understand that being attracted to the same sex is not about experience, but emotion etc. Good luck with figuring things out
Unless you are sending off signals to people, I would not focus too much on it; if you believe it is possible I recommend keeping a journal.
Thanks everyone. It's just sometimes things others say can really tap into those hidden insecurities of mine. It's like I know who I am and how I feel about the same and opposite sex. It's when people question me, I feel like I'm not sure because I can't explain my feelings with words. I just know how I've always felt.
I know this feel, I sometimes question myself if something happens; like a fantasy that catches me off gaurd or what not and I won't go into detail because I do not want to go into thread jacking, but I remember the three stages of attraction; feelings towards sex with gender, and responses towards gender, and lastly future predictions. Those put me back on track, and in time I think both of out insecurities will be answered in due time.
Hi there, because you're straight and I'm questioning female, I wonder if maybe by asking a few questions it might help me a little. So you were mentioning that some a questioning/bi girl might send off signals to people who would think that she is straight. What kinds of signals are they? How do you know if a female is straight or not? I really appreciate your input! Thanks a lot
