Today's been quite weird for me. I've spent periods thinking about getting with girls and then periods about getting with guys. Literally, one hour here and one hour there. I'm wondering which I want more on an emotional level. I never really remember feeling much for girls, I've acted that way but looking back I was convincing myself I did... Then again, I've never really had many emotions for guys either. I'm not sure what I want. I guess I've spent most of my life looking at girls and wanting to be with them whilst suppressing anything I thought of a guy. I really want to explore men but I'm really nervous in case my instinct is wrong. It's a gut instinct and I have had sexual experiences with other guys before that I found pleasurable. The problem is I've only been with 1 girl and that was awful. Really was a mess of a relationship. I wouldn't even call it that. It was like 3 months in a mental ward. I just don't know. I can't speak to any friends or family because I told them I was gay. I think it was to push myself forward really. I guess I'll come to that issue when I've had chance to explore... Anyone got any ideas or advice? (other than that I'm bisexual. I dont wanna hear that, I just want to choose something that I can be happy with).
It's possible you're bisexual, but without knowing more it's hard to know, and it'd be crass to tell you that you are, anyways. You can't choose your sexuality. You, in theory, could choose whether you wanted to end up with a guy versus with a girl, but that wouldn't be very fair to yourself. Do you think you'd enjoy sex with a woman? And as for you having that messy relationship with a girl... it's hard to say whether that's because you're not into women in that way or if it was just your chemistry with her. What exactly about that relationship was so bad? It's possible the problems were just from between you and her. It's also possible that you can't get along with women in that way... but I couldn't guess without more information.
Well I didnt quite realise at first that she was a compulsive liar and a manipulator. She regularly lied about being abused at home, accused me of raping her after I "seduced" her (she was only annoyed because for a slight moment i had some control) and then to top it off she told me she was pregnant. There was other things but those are the most prominent. Not being able to get along with women in that way would make sense... So basically im just sexually attracted to them but couldn't be in a relationship, i could with a man though. What's the name for that? Bi romantic or somthing similar :/
