This is kind of strange. I've noticed that since starting my social transition, I feel some pressure to act like a straight male even though I don't like women and am married to a man. I can't understand it. In a way, I think I do it to protect my husband. I don't want him to be labeled. He's straight, and I don't want anyone to think otherwise, especially given the area that we live in. It's really confusing. I'm having to come to terms with the fact that I'm a guy who likes men. Why is this so hard for me to accept? Has anyone else ever been through something like this?
Hi, I am sorry it's so confusing. Your husband knows and supports you? Have you talked to him about your strange feelings?
I have. He told me basically just to do what makes me happy. It bothers me that he didn't give me much of an answer. I don't plan on changing my body. It's just weird trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm a transman and gay. He does love me and who I am, which makes me feel good, but talking about this stuff always scares me. I actually start panicking when I talk about things like this. I break down and cry every damn time.
So, the others (neighbors) will see you as a man in the future? (are you on hormones?) I am a bit lost, but if you will go through transition, your neighbors will notice and you will need to come up with a story anyway (or move away). I am afraid some gossiping will be there, but if people accept that from someone who they know as a woman will become a man, they will be also able to understand that your husband is still living with you. If you don't go through the transition (you just changing your wardrobe for example and the pronouns), you can keep low profile in public at first and slowly watch the reaction of the others in your neighborhood.
Thanks. That helps a lot. I'm actually not taking hormones. I've toyed with the idea of testosterone-boosting supplements. I want to be acknowledged as a man, but if I never pass well, there's nothing to worry about, I guess. I'm sort of passively transitioning for now, I guess. I may choose to take hormones in the future, but I never plan on getting any surgeries. It's all pretty weird and confusing.
I hope it will work for you and your marriage. The answers in the other today's thread were pretty surprising for me.
yes. As far as I noticed trans* people are usually told you are who you are inside, that person is what is really important. But seeing the negative answers in the thread, it doesn't seem to me that it is what people really think.
It's complicated, I guess. My husband is OK with me being a guy on the inside and presenting male. He just doesn't want me to change my body, which I'm on board with because I don't really want to. I think the person on the inside is what's important personally. I also read an article once about a woman whose husband transitioned to female, and even though she's not a lesbian, they stayed together. Just depends on the persona and the situation, I guess.
