I've already posted a thread regarding how to cope/embrace my homosexuality, but I'm still slightly puzzled. I'm 14, and I really hold little sexual attraction towards females. The most attraction I've ever held would be an attachment of the sorts.. protective, in a sense. I'm normally attracted to males, and I find myself labeling them on physical appearance, etc. I feel immensely awkward and somewhat alienated from my true personality when I get close to a girl, but I always can imagine myself finding the "perfect" woman to stand by me and care for me, and visa-versa, but I lack any physical or any real mental desires, and my affection towards a guy relationship feels more appealing, but I always imagine it was a very masculine, buddy-buddy romance. It all confuses me, and some help would be very helpful!
Here are some helpful questions I posted in a thread and seemed to have caught on answer them because they'll probably help. Q: Who do you find attractive? Q: Who do you crush on? Q: Who would you like to date? Q: Who would you make out with? Q: Who would you have sex with? Q: Who do you see marrying?
My recommendation at this point would be to get involved in the queer community. Being around gay dudes and gay couples might just help you see where a future guy (or girl) might just fit into your life. Also, queer people are awesome and it's absolutely amazing to be in that atmosphere. I suggest you check out your school's GSA if you have one, and look into your local pride center too. Pride centers are usually community hubs and almost always have youth groups of some sort. They often have parties and events geared specifically toward youth during the year that are loads of fun. A quick google search would hopefully turn up what your city has to offer.
Would you say the attraction you've held to females before is more of a 'fatherly' type? You mentioned protectiveness, and it seems like you were thinking of these girls as little sisters rather than a girlfriend. Also, you can have a perfect woman to stand by and care for you- as a best friend! Someone doesn't have to be dating/attracted to you to offer you support when you need it, and as you said, vice-versa. Gay relationships don't have to be the "stereotypical fashion obsessed fussy guys" society labels every gay couple as. Just because you want the relationship to be more masculine and buddy-buddy doesn't mean it's not a valid relationship anymore! After all, look at the bear subculture of gay/bi men. Just remember, being gay isn't something that condemns you for the rest of your life! It's just a part of who you are, it doesn't have to be the most important part though. I can't make any of your decisions for you, but I hope you come to one (a decision, that is) that makes you happy.
