I have hydrocephalus, I'm on strong medications for epilepsy and depression. I began to be attracted to other boys when I was 23, now at 40, my attraction for girls is at the front. I'm terrified that I've done the wrong thing by bringing an American guy over to the UK, I feel myself mentally pulling away because of this, even though I love him and want him to be happy. He means the world to me, but this attraction to females is destroying everything. Will I ever be attracted to men again? He deserves the best, I feel I'm not giving him that right now. He says the complete opposite though. Help?
I should go over points that were probably in my last post. Had my first serious girlfriend aged 20. Aged 22, started finding men attractive. Met current partner aged 29. Feel like I'm destroying 2 lives, not 1. Have low self confidence anyway, this isn't helping. Have pushed partner away, want to be closer but don't know if it can work. Is my attitude destroying my attraction, making me anxious that this won't work? I want the feelings back. I know love changes through the course of a relationship, but does sexual preference chance with it? I used to cry about this, but not any more.
I understand this may be difficult for you at the moment, but I just wish to remind you to calm down. Don't let this issue consume every waking moment, take some time to just sit back and relax. It is possible to maintain a romantic relationship with someone, without also having a sexual relationship with them. Very possible. I think the first thing you can do, is to tell him how you are feeling. Stress the fact that you are not interested in leaving him at all, that you want to keep your relationship and that you still love him very much. If he truly loves you and wishes to be with you, he will understand and help you through this time. Sexuality is fluid, but you can't choose what sexuality you want and when. It is possible to have been attracted to females, then attracted to males, then attracted to females again, but know that whomever you are attracted to, you can't force yourself to change it. If you are attracted to girls again there is no 'magical cure'. Assuming you are bisexual, I suppose you mean you are still attracted to men to some degree, but mostly to women? Whatever the case, it is possible you can be attracted to men again. And just because your sexuality is changing, doesn't mean your relationship has to end. I can't really help you in this situation as I haven't had much experience with one like it, but I believe the most important thing you can do now is share these feelings with your partner. Maybe even show him this post, to let him know that you truly do still love him and care for him, and wouldn't stop doing that just because you find women attractive again. I apologize for not being of more help, I wish you the best in this, and I sincerely hope your relationship stays strong and you can work through this!
I want to thank you for your response, I'm having problems coming to terms with this. Every waking moment, I'm consumed with sorrow, guilt because of this. I feel awful. He knows I love him, I tell him daily, I do things that should help him know I love him. As for where I wrote that I don't cry about it, that's changed to. I'm so upset by the whole thing. My mind is going round in circles. I'm questioning everything, digging myself in deeper. I wish I could relax as you suggest, but I'm finding that so difficult.
