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how do lesbians feel?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by denise1234, Aug 14, 2013.

  1. denise1234

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    Can someone (preferably a lesbian) explain to me how lesbians feel towards men and towards women physically, emotionally and sexually?

    I'm trying to figure out my sexual orientation and this might help a little. Here's some information about me:

    -I know that I am not physically, sexually, or emotionally attracted to men.

    -I know that I am emotionally and physically attracted to women... however I have never been sexual with a woman so I don't know if I am sexually attracted to women?
    However the thought of kissing or being intimate with a women does not gross me out like how the thought of being intimate with a man does.
    I think I would be up to try it with a woman.
     
  2. wanderinggirl

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    I guess I can answer your question of whether you are sexually attracted to women or not as a general question of discovering sexuality before you actually get someone in bed. Before I got really intimate with women I felt like sometimes when I hugged a girl I'd feel different, like I waned to hug them forever. Or if they were wearing short sleeves and I touched their arm in some manner, it felt good.

    The feeling of physical platonic contact with a female friend used to scare me, and I didn't want to explore women any further. But once I separated the fear from the actual feelings I was experiencing, I realized that I secretly felt amazing touching a girl.

    And sometimes I feel that way about hugging/touching guys, but not as often and not as intensely. And conversely, I don't feel that way every single time I hug a girl. But much of the time, that is my experience.
     
    #2 wanderinggirl, Aug 14, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2013
  3. pinklov3ly

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    I'll have to admit that I once upon time I did feel an emotional/sexual connection towards men. It wasn't as strong as my attraction towards females, and that is why I identify as a lesbian. Whenever I tried to be with a man, I felt like we were better off as friends. I felt like our chemistry was forced on my end and that's because I tried really hard not to be gay.

    My attraction towards women was much stronger and undeniable, and I could connect with them more on emotional, romantic and sexual level. It felt more natural and it was very easy for me to develop feelings for them than with men. I will not lie and say that sex with men was gross, but it was kind of awkward and uncomfortable. I mean, I am a mother, so it wasn't that bad. If anything, I enjoy being with a woman more than a man. And I don't see myself dating another man in future. It seemed like once I started accepting my feelings for women everything else fell into place.
     
    #3 pinklov3ly, Aug 15, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2013
  4. sigillumdiaboli

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    ...and that's exactly how I got to where I am today - a lesbian :eusa_clap (and I haven't done it with a chick either)
     
  5. sammy1

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    For myself i like men as far as: i find some of them good looking and like hanging out w them as friends but i never want to have sex or kiss a man. I dont like what men look like naked it grosses me out to b honest and everything that is involved with having sex w a man. As for women i am emotionally, physically and sexually attracted to women.

    ---------- Post added 15th Aug 2013 at 07:20 PM ----------

    And same here i hant had sex with either but i know its only women for me
     
  6. Maddy

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    I've removed a few posts, as it's not okay for anyone here to make really disparaging comments about others' bodies. Just as it's not okay for gay men to call vaginas disgusting here, it's equally not okay for others to say the same about penises.
     
  7. CuriousBunny

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    I am not a woman so I don't fit the criteria you were searching for, but from what you've said you definitely sound lesbian.
     
  8. As far as men go, I just don't feel anything for them beyond friendship. The idea of being intimate with a man just seems so wrong to me. I can't imagine spending my life or having sex with one. I can't even imagine cuddling or holding hands with a man. The idea just feels so weird and uncomfortable. I've also never looked at a man's body with any interest. I don't think they are ugly or gross, just uninteresting.

    When it comes to women though, I feel more emotionally connected to them, closer to them, and I love the way their bodies look. When I was first discovering my feelings for women, I could not imagine having sex, but I would have all these fantasies about cuddling with another woman, holding her, kissing her, holding her hand while walking down the street, etc. Eventually, as I started realising what this meant about me, I started having more sexual fantasies about women, but that didn't come until years later when I was in college.
     
  9. denise1234

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    Thank you all so much.
    It's just hard learning to listen to yourself and understand your truth self. I am 26 years old and still confused. I think partly because of how I was raised and our society. I always just assumed I was straight growing up and that I would find a guy that I connected with and get married and have kids. That was and still is the norm.
    As a got older I realized something was wrong/different. I wasn't finding the right guy. I tried and tried and went on dates with guys, but I just didn't like them...any of them. I didn't want them touching me or cuddling me. It felt completely uncomfortable. I could kiss them but anything more I completely resisted. Every touch felt uncomfortable. I was and am not turned on/attracted to guys or their parts.
    I think I'm just going through a hard time discovering my true self and even admitting who I am to myself. Especially since I am 26...I feel like I'm late in the game figuring out my sexuality. It's just that I tried for years to be straight. I really did try, it just didn't work.

    Thanks again,

    -D

    ---------- Post added 16th Aug 2013 at 06:43 AM ----------

    Also I appreciate everyone's feedback. It is really helping me normalize my thoughts and feelings and bring understanding to who I am.
    While accepting me :slight_smile:

    Thanks.