I've accepted for a couple months now I'm gay, possibly biromantic? I'm pretty convimore I have zero emotional attraction to guys... Honestly Id rather just fuck and not even kiss. Kissing a dude is a serious turn off for me and I want to spit it out. I think its because there faces themselves are very non arousing and I'd rather put a bag on there faces usually. Some guys maybe I could do with looking at, but kissing is just no. But I get highly arousedto there asses and dicks majority of times, n then sometimes I'm like that's fuckin gross n cannot get into it. I'm basing this off of, two gay experiences and trying to imagine it in person. I get a little grossed out with the making out part with a guy, I start building up spit in my mouth n refuse to swallow. On the other hand, I can kiss a girl's face all day long n love it. they are a fuckton more beautiful There bodies themselves don't arouse me, only sometimes they do.and in person I'm still subconsciously checking them out. I haven't had the luxury of a gf for a few months. But she gave me anxiety from the beginning because I wasn't even interested but I was rebounding hard. I care for her n love her as a person but were better off not together. But in school I think I want to be thay girls bf, instead of I want to be that guys bf. So I really think I am genuinely emotionally attracted to girls but not guys. And it has alot to do with there faces that are stunningly beautiful. And only physically to males.. But that's a serious dilemma for me in this world. Its like a shitty dead end and I'm not sure what to do
Cross dressers gross me out like there faces.. I could deff fuck anyhting with a Dick and ass. ts feminine guy faces and manly guy faces that both turn me off. I guess its worth noting a slight urge to fuck females feels like its growing in me since ending it permaneny with my ex and quitting porn. But just a slight urge. Honestly I Might get into a girl with a dick. But honestly, those are too rare to count on ---------- Post added 15th Aug 2013 at 07:48 AM ---------- There are a select couple guys from afar in my mind sometimes I say I'd want to fuck n little kisses but no tongue. N this fantasy based, like porn, from stars and celebrities. But still, its the female actresses that mostly capture my attention, just no arousal ---------- Post added 15th Aug 2013 at 07:52 AM ---------- When I say slight urge, thatsnwhat it is, a urge to fuck a girl.. my friends gf said I was looking good yesterday when he was showering, I thought that was strange, she also sat next to me most of the night and even sort of flirted with me a little bit..but if she wasn't with him yeah I'd fuck the living shit out of her and I believe I'd be turned on.. like I said its an urge, I feel slight feeling in my Dick when I think about it but its a good feeling... So I think there's Some hope I could have a returning attraction to females... I was previously depressed in a bad relationship tons of porn and masturbating.. related?
There are two things I have to point out 1. Fluid sexuality is something that exists in people and it is the concept that one's sexuality changes on it own without the will of the person. 2.Romantic orientation and sexual orientation can be different, and it appears that the asexual community have already adopted this stance.
From your post, OP, I get a bit of vibe of internalized homophobia. Which isn't to say that you are "gay", you could be "bi", "pan" or something else for all that matters, but suffice to say, you have some attraction to the male body, and yet it seems to be disgusting you at the same time. When you masturbate, do you masturbate to guys or girls? And if you masturbate to guys, do you feel guilty afterwards? I ask this because you seem to create a distinction between "Sex" and "Kissing", as if "Sex" was only being used to "get the job done" as if you were not really attracted to the person but needed a quick fix, whereas "Kissing" is when you get all personal and loving with a person. Would you say that this is an accurate representation of your overall feelings or am I completely wrong?
I don't feel guilty at all anymore, its become a way of life. I masturbate to straight porn and gay porn. Yes male body for my quick fix, and females for kissing and personal. But in person I have a problem getting into either sex. Could be I'm asexual, or am just watching to much porn but either way this is terrible I get sexuality can be fluid, n I think my body is a possible candidate. But regardless, it doesn't help me in the realm of love. I don't feel emotional connections with guys like I do girls. Only sexual
