Hi, I'm one confused 18 year old:help:. I don't have much to go on because I've never really been someone to become instatly attracted to someone. I didn't have crushes as a kid and i only ever like people after I get to know them. Usually my guy crushes are a friend or an unattractive nice guy. I never see someone and think "I would have sex with them". I've always thought that was wierd but just figured I was very selective. I've only really seen three guys in my whole life and thought "WOW, your georgous!" I had one boyfriend and he was a horibble kisser and when we did other stuff besides kissing I either wanted him out of my space or just wasn't that turned on by it. We were doing things that would make most teenagers really horny and I was just really bored. Now I'm not sure if that's because I didn't want to be there or I just wasn't attracted to him. I might be hapheaphobic which is a fear of touch, so that could be a factor. When I was younger I kept waiting for a boy crazy stage that just never really happened. I usually only have sexual fantasies with guys but I get more of a reaction when I see an attractive female. When I see a hot guy I go unphased. I originally started questioning my sexuality in 8th grade when I was 13. I had huge crushes on like three of my girl friends. we were pretty experimental with each other and while they were joking I was more serious. I actually felt the way we acted. My parents had always told me that I would go through an experimental phase, so i believed that it was just a pphase and would end. When I got to high school I just told myself it was a phase and really denied every feeling I had and labled it as normal frienship feelings. Yet it was always in the back of my mind and I guess I seemed to always know. Then I met her, the one who would change everything. at first I hated her, then i denied that I would ever like her in that wa, then I did and I fell HARD. She was the first person I wanted in my personal space. When she touched me it was like electricity and even the little things she did would turn me on. I loved every part of her and i couldn't deny that I was crazy about her. i had never felt like that before and it brought back to my attention that things were not all straight with me (pun intended). Now that I'm aknowledging it I find myself attracted to more girls more often almost instantly. something I'm not used to. So I just can't figure out if I'm bi or lesbian or straight with a little curve. i just don't know and I hate it. :tears:
I'm a bit younger than you are, but I'd been struggling with the same sexuality-identity crisis... so i may be helpful anyway! It's different for everyone, but my way of looking at it is: There are three kinds of attraction: Sexual, physical, & emotional. If you have all three with women, (it sounds like that was the case with your most recent Her) and only very occasionally with men, lesbian could fit. SO many adults view lesbianism or bisexuality as a phase, especially in teenage girls, that it can be hard to take yourself seriously if that's what you've been hearing. But this "phase" sounds like it's lasted since, uh, your very first crushes. The way you describe feeling in a relationship with a guy is really similar to how i (and two older, wiser lesbian friends) have described our experiences. How you identify depends on who you're honestly attracted to. Which can be really hard to figure out. But... sounds like you've never really been attracted to guys. That could be your answer... Have you heard of the kinsey scale?
Yes i've heard of the kinsey scale but I don't know where I'd be on that list. I mean i guess i have guy crushes but they are nothing like my girl crushes. It is hard to seperate what you hear from what you know and how you feel.
