I'm gay but lately I've been curious about women.

I think that it's perfectly fine for you to be turned on by these things. I mean, to each his own. The big question for me is whether you see yourself in a long term relationship with a woman or a man, attraction to the parts of the opposite sex really doesn't matter.

 

Have you ever heard the expression "Honey, NOBODY is THAT gay..."

If you're not thinking of anyone specific there's no reason the female form shouldn't be a bit of a turn on!

 

Sexuality isn't all black and white. You can identify as gay and still like a bit of the breastage.

 

it's not the woman you like, it's the body part. a person's behind can be admired, and whilst the shape between a man and a woman's are sort of different, they're both the same thing. i still look at girls and think dayyuuum but that's as far as it goes.

 

This whole "body part" thing seems quite interesting. I've seen lots of straight men on other forums express an interest in the penis, some going as far as sucking other guys off. These men claim they have no interest in any other body part of man's, let alone dating or having a relationship with one, but they just really love the cock. I assume that there must be a gay equivalent of that, and maybe you're it.

Does the vagina interest you in any way when a penis is not penetrating it? Would you want the penis penetrating it to be your penis?

 

Sexual energy can be very contagious. Also, people often like all kinds of porn and erotic situations they wouldn't necessarily like to practice in real life. There are lesbians who like to watch gay porn, for example.

Well, lots of straight men end up having sex with other men in prison, where they don't have access to women. Also, I'd say most people could have sex with either gender in an extreme situation, regardless of their actual orientation. Your situation isn't at all that extreme though, so I don't think it's that. You've also expressed some interest in women, albeit it seems to be limited to certain body parts.

I actually get some of what you're saying pretty well. I'll relate a little of my own experiences, and hope they don't add in any way to your confusion.

I too was sexually repressed for a very good while, but as I was well aware of my sexual attraction towards men. Now, I wasn't (and still am not) totally indifferent towards women (hence my "homoflexible" label). However, once I realized I had an attraction towards men, and what this attraction meant, girls disappeared from my mind for some time. I do find men to be much more beautiful than girls, and definitely more sexually appealing. That doesn't mean that I don't find some girls beautiful and even sexually appealing, just less often and less intense than men. And like you, I can only see myself in a long term relationship with another guy. For this reason I am out as gay to those that I am out. An odd fling with a girl here and there doesn't make me feel the need to come out again as bi. Relationships shouldn't be kept hidden (depending on the society in which you live in), but sex acts are private.

Now, how far your sexual interests in girls go... I can't comment on that. Maybe they're limited to drawing their genitalia being penetrated by a dick, or imagining their bums in a thong. Maybe one day you'll want your dick to penetrate one. It's all fine either way. You seem to be experiencing a normal fear that many gay people face before coming out: am I sure? Well, there's no test for that, but you are quite sure that you primarily like men, so you should go with that.

I get the whole "how can girls like sex?" thing. Media representations and cultural stereotypes generally show women as being totally uninterested in sex, like it's a "chore" for them etc. These representations also encourage sex negativity regarding women's sexuality, as the women who do enjoy sex are labeled "sluts". (In this regard, Sex and the City was a massively innovative show, as it presented women as actually (GASP) liking sex, not using it as a tool to get and keep a man, but to satisfy their own desires, and not being judgmental about it.)

Also, some forms of feminism, especially the very radical kind, do nothing to counter this sex negativity, but rather encourage it, all the while presenting men in general as "enemies" of women, and that women are somehow subjugated by them if they engage in sex.

I guess a guy could end up feeling "guilty", and ultimately repress his sexual desires for women, especially if said guy is not primarily into them (never heard of this happening to a straight guy). It's really what happened to me (I had many female friends growing up too BTW), and I ended up acknowledging that part of myself only after I came out as gay and became more comfortable with certain things. Maybe this is your case too... or not.

Not all people who say they're gay are 100% gay, and likewise with some straight people.
Maybe these people (you and I included) are all technically bi (you could argue that anyone who isn't strictly a Kinsey 0 or 6 is bi), but the bi label has certain implications that don't apply to all of us, and other labels, like the "homoflexible" I have on this site, might be too confusing for others to grasp. So there's nothign wrong if you come out as gay, and having a certain interests in the opposite sex (like the drawings thing). Likewise, there's nothing wrong if you eventually find yourself having actual real life experiences with a girl. And if these experiences end up having such an impact on you that you'll want to relabel yourself as bi, well, no one's gonna chop your head off for it. Discovering yourself may take a lifetime. So stop stressing out so much over this. Sexuality shouldn't be about endless frustrating inquiries. There's no fun in that.

Hope what I said made sense and didn't just confuse you more. :S

 

Maybe you get turned on because you imagine yourself having the vagina and being penetrated? Just another perspective, correct me if I'm wrong

 

Hmm... well now you all have given me something to think about. I always assumed that being aroused by both genders meant I was bisexual by definition. Functionally I'm gay since I haven't dated a woman for years. It seems that lots of gay men flirt outrageously with women. Perhaps that's me as well.

 

same but i think i might be a bit trans and would be more in to girls if i was one