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Weirdly confused now, even though I wasn't.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by irishguy101, Aug 20, 2013.

  1. irishguy101

    Regular Member

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    Hi,

    Kind of a weird story, I guess, but I'd appreciate any advice.

    Back in May I was pretty much ready to come out as Gay. I even wrote down what I was going to say to my parents. But then I started questioning how I can be sure that I definitely am gay, and won't change in the future. My big fear was that I'd come out and then some time in the future I'd end up liking some girl and I'd look like an idiot when I reverse-came-out.

    But since then it's just gotten worse where I'm always trying to see what gender I'm more attracted to, and too nervous to come out in case I change. I never took notice of women before I gave myself a deadline for coming out, but ever since then I find myself constantly noticing women and trying to see if I might be attracted to them or not. Which of course is highly irritating.

    Anyway, any advice would be appreciated!
    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Your new deadline for coming out to friends and family is when you are in a relationship with another man! You could come out before then, but you don't NEED to.

    If it turns out you wind up liking girls later on, that's fine. Better to be honest with YOURSELF now and explore it than worry about what other people think. Also, it's a rare person indeed, I think, that would here you come out and then a few months down the line go "OH GOD He's gone straight! How could this happen to us?!"
     
  3. Adi

    Adi
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    Seems to me like you might be developing some OCD relating to sexual orientation. I'd suggest you not stress about it too much, and definately quit it with the "checking out to see if you're attracted" thing.

    Since you're planning to come out as gay, I assume you must be basing this on something, most likely attraction towards guys. This fact wouldn't be invalidated by you liking a girl sometime in the future (somewhat unlikely considering you've only even thinking of girls due to an illogical fear).