Okay so, I am a female, and I am currently in a relationship with a lovely guy. Our one month is this friday actually. The thing is, is he is very sexually attracted to me, but I'm not really sexually attracted to him. An example of that was yesterday, we were kissing and then we started grinding me, and I didn't really enjoy it at all and I was super uncomfortable. Even the kissing, it wasn't bad, he's a fantastic kisser, I just don't get anything out of it. And during the whole time this was happening I was thinking that if in the place of my boyfriend were a girl, I would love it a helluva lot more. And its not only with my boyfriend, its like that with any male. I am simply not sexually attracted to them. I am romantically and emotionally, just not sexually. But I am sexually attracted to woman. Quite a bit. Even the male genitalia makes me just plain uncomfortable and just doesn't turn me on AT ALL. But with the female, it does. The things I'm thinking about are that I am simply like this because of my inexperience with males, my current boyfriend is my first ever. But it scares me to think that I'd rather have sexual relations with my best friend, a girl, than my boyfriend. And the most confusing part is I've never really had a legitimate crush on a girl before, only boys. But thinking about it, maybe I did but I just pushed down the feelings because I thought they were wrong. And I really really love the idea of having a relationship with a girl. I would be just so much comfortable. But now I'm with a boyfriend that I like a lot emotionally and romantically, but sexually. But he likes me sexually a lot though. I feel like it isn't fair to him. And I haven't told him about any of this. He just assumes I'm straight, which simply isn't the case. I'd just like some type of idea of what's going on here. And what are the next steps I should take. Thanks in advance, confusedgirl2
Hey there confusedgirl2, I'm a female too and can relate to the post you just shared. Hmm.. Do you think it's possible that you might be uncomfortable grinding with him and kissing because you've only been dating for a month? I know that for me, not enough time spent really getting to know my partner has led me to feelings of being uncomfortable and questioning the relationship. If you feel uncomfortable I would speak with him about it. He'll be understanding if he's a good match for you. Communication is key in relationships. It couldn't hurt to let him know. I can totally relate to not knowing if I had ever crushed on a girl and if Id pushed my feelings away because I didn't think it was 'normal'. It's possible that you are bisexual or a lesbian, but it's all up to you to figure that out. If I were you, Id read some stories of bisexual and lesbian people and see if you can relate. That could help you find more answers. And definitely let your boyfriend know about your feelings. Not only will it be a positive for him to know, it could bring the relationship together more by you sharing deep feelings with him and it will allow you for easy opportunities to let him know if you get uncomfortable during another time of getting physical. Wishing you lots of luck, positivity and understanding, InfiniteColour
Hey confusedgirl2!! Welcome to EC I'd have to agree with you and say that you are most definitely not straight. And I think you should talk to your boyfriend about your feelings because it is not fair to keep him in the dark. When it comes to liking women, everyone experiences attractions differently. You may have indeed had crushes on girls, but passed it off as just admiration. For me, when I discovered that I liked women, I had to look back into my past. And I realized that I had crushes on like, all of my female friends growing up. I was even in love with my teacher even though I was only 6/7ish. However, I clearly remember how emotionally close I felt towards them. And my feelings were very strong from an early age, but during my teens, I discovered that liking girls was looked down upon. Enough about me...So, my advice to you, is to do a little bit of soul searching and see what you come up with and good luck
