1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Whats going on!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by davelead, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. davelead

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I am/was straight male. I am 17 and have had a few experiences with girls. I am single but regularly masturbate to lesbian porn almost exclusively, but literally in the past week I watched the new arrested development and got reminded of straight bait videos. I had seen one a few years ago. The idea turned me on. The conversion/turning/seduction. I mean even when I watch normal/lesbian porn, I 99% of the time go for one with as long and drawn out seduction as possible.
    I watched a straight bait and didn't really find the men hot or attractive at all and I imagine they would be considered hot/attractive but the story of straight to gay turned me on and the sex while it wasn't mindblowing or more exciting than the straight porn im used to it kept me excited. But now I have urges to watch the same style of porn. I don't find men attractive in anyway facially and most of the time I never find there bodies attractive but the concept off the porn and the not off putting sex has peaked my interest. I have never had sexual urges for males that you would call signs. The most I have is the concept of not me personally getting turned not me personally just the idea in generall but I put that down to my fascination with the concept of seduction in general. I now find it hard to go back to how I was, when I decide to masterbate I want think of trying gay rather than straight porn, I dont find straight porn as apeallying though I still find the women hot I just think maybe I should be watching gay stuff

    But then again I have never fancied any guy or thought about one in a sexual way even when I am watching gay porn and strictly storied porn I feel that I am not focusing on the people involved as nothing to do with there face interests me, I feel its the concept rather than the real thing. Which would be fine but now I am having no real sexual attractions normally I would see a hot girl and be like wow and even though I still do it has weakened and I don't treat it as a big deal were I might have before, and I see guys the same way I did before, I have never been attracted by one and find the idea of kissing a guy awkward and don't really have sexual feelings to anyone I know or major stars regardless of gender.

    Obviously a few questions are raised in my massive post (sorry) but as well as those I would like some answers/help/advice/clarification aswell on some questions that weren't raised


    Surely I would know by now that i'm not gay?
    I have found women attractive my entire life and never thought or got excited over men in anyway so why now?
    Do you think I am gay?
    Is there really a gay phase?
    Is it puberty?
    Will I get over it?
    How long will it last?
    With my decrease attraction to girls remain, I have no attraction for men and that hasn't changed so that is a genuine worry that I'm becoming almost asexual?


    PS I have as silly as it sounds had a erection race to see which one get me hardest fastest obviously its not a reall way of measuring anything but when I thought about it men on men sex I did feel a bit weird inside, but when I tried to think of actual men that I would find actually attractive I got stumpped and just picturing a naked man did nothing. Picturing lesbians didn't work but I expected that as it is very visual but thinking of a women did work I didn't really read into the time it took but it was similar
     
  2. AKTodd

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Norfolk, VA
    Hi, Welcome to EC :smilewave

    It's possible that you might be bi. Then again it also sounds to me that you might just be a 17yr old male, which pretty much means a steady breeze in the right direction can get you turned on and ready to go:wink:

    Somewhat more seriously, you did say that seduction is a big turn on for you and this type of porn could be seen as a very strong example of that based on how you've described yourself. It may be that the seduction factor is such a big one for you that your libido isn't all that concerned with who is doing the seducing. There's also the issue of doing/seeing something that you might generally consider 'naughty' or 'extreme' (compared to what you normally watch and given your self-identity as a straight male). It could be that you're getting a turn on from the forbidden aspect of it basically.

    Going back to the possibility of you being bi. I don't get that strong of a sense of this from what you've written, but different bisexual people often have different degrees of attraction to different genders. It's not a simple 50-50 split in many cases.

    One thing you might try (if you haven't already) is to look at some other forms of gay porn and see if it does anything for you. Now try another gay porn like what you originally saw, with a strong seduction factor. Maybe try some other porn (straight, lesbian, etc.) also with that seduction factor (it sounds like you already have an eye out for those). If the only thing that really turns you on is the seduction factor, regardless of the gender, then that sounds like you're straight but really into watching people get seduced.

    Anyway, my 2c on the matter.

    Just for sake of completeness and considering your questions below...


    I didn't know I was gay until I was 21. Some guys don't figure it out until they're in their 30s/40s/50s or older.

    Could be the specific scenario (seduction) that is exciting you rather than the gay aspect. Could be that it just took that experience to trip the switch in your head. Could be you're bi (strongly leaning toward women) or just sufficiently comfortable with yourself that you can get sexually aroused at a lot of different things.

    Not really no. Porn isn't the best indicator of orientation in any case and you don't give the sense that this really turned you on way beyond any other sort of porn you've watched or fantasy you've had.

    Not that I've ever heard of from a credible source. The idea of gay being a phase is usually associated with straight people trying desperately to deny the idea that a young person might actually be gay.

    That said see above about you maybe being sufficiently comfortable with yourself or open-minded that you don't have any strong negative feelings about gay sex. It may not do much for you, but it's still SEX and that in itself (or the type of scenario you describe watching) may be enough to turn you on to some degree.

    At 17, you're probably horny just about all the time, yes? And almost any form of sex is still SEX (as mentioned above). So it might turn you on just by being sex. In that sense, it could be thought of as puberty.

    Maybe yes, maybe no. A more interesting question to ask yourself might be: Does it matter?

    Maybe you're a guy who will never be interested in having sex with another guy, but can get turned on sometimes by watching a guy get seduced by another. So you add a particular sub-genre to your porn collection.

    Maybe the novelty will eventually wear off and you'll move on to some other type of scenario that you find stimulating. Or go back to the stuff that turned you on before.

    Maybe you'll find your feelings and urges shifting until you're either fully into guys or attracted to men and women both. In which case, you'll have the urge to do stuff with them and will presumably take pleasure in it when its happening.

    At this point any of these options are possible, and none of them need cause any major change in your life overall. Sex is just a small part of everything you do and are, so perhaps taking the approach that 'labels are for soup cans' and just going with the flow of your life (aka do what makes you happy) might be the best approach.

    Could be gone in a few days, could be the rest of your life. No one can really predict this sort of thing.

    I suspect that you're feeling a certain degree of stress over this issue (why you're posting here, after all) and stress or anxiety can strongly depress the sex drive. The most important sexual organ in your body is the one between your ears and if something is bothering you it can really reduce your urges and attractions.

    Try to relax and not worry about it. There's nothing wrong with being turned on by what you saw and your porn preference doesn't actually say all that much about your orientation. Even if you turn out to be bi or gay, there's nothing wrong with that either. Relax, go with the flow, and everything should all shake out in the wash :thumbsup:

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
  3. CuriousBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    0
    After reading your story, you sound very straight. You have never had an attraction to a guy, which pretty much gives it away.