Hi, I'm new to the site and am very confused. I have had many crushes on girls (same sex as I) in the past three days and was starting to think that I might be a lesbian until I woke up the next day and felt attracted to the male specimen (in my head). I have absolutely nothing against gays/lesbians/bi/asexuals. Nothing at all. I have grown up with a pair of gay uncles and go to a church where at least two or three adult couples are gay/lesbian. I have a lot of aversion to being discriminatory against anyone LGBT; I am known throughout my school to stop people I don't know and tell them, "Gay is not a description. Don't say that." But I've always imagined myself as someone who got straight A's (I do.), would go to a college or university somewhere, and then graduate with a Bachelor's degree in Whatnot and somehow find a guy I could settle down and have kids with. Of course, since I am bisexual (no matter how much I don't want to accept it), I could still do that, but I'm very concerned that I might end up with a woman. I mean, love is love. If I loved her I would do so. It feels like I kind of stood up too fast this morning when I got out of bed. One end of the sexuality spectrum to another within about eight hours is very hard for me to contemplate. Or rather, internalize. I don't think my [blood] family would have a problem with it, either. I'm not worried about that but I'm definitely not going to tell anyone anytime soon. We're not really religious. We go to church, but we believe that homosexuality is perfectly acceptable. Even my step family, who is quite religious, will only not stand up for gay rights. And you know what? If they will just respect me and not be mean, I will respect what they feel is their duty to do. I just don't want to give the Popular group at school another reason to call me names. I don't want to creep out/ward off guys when I'm old enough to date when I tell them that. Of course I know that if they won't accept me, they weren't worth my time, but it would still hurt. These 'mood swings' are rather odd and troublesome to me. I feel really guilty as well because I haven't told anyone yet. What should I do?
Well it sounds like you're in a safe environment to come out in. It helps wonders to do that. And hey, I know it can be hard being stuck somewhere between straight and gay, but one day I hope you learn to accept yourself in all ways and in all areas of your life. Then you'll be truly free.
You're three days in to this realisation...chill and enjoy it. As for the 'popular group', you don't actually NEED to tell anyone or broadcast it until it actually becomes unavoidable. I'm not saying you have to deny it but until you find yourself actively looking for a female partner you don't even need to mention it to anyone you don't feel comfortable discussing it with. You said you don't want to creep out guys in the future, I'll be honest I've yet to meet the man who would be put off by the idea of "dating a lesbian", which is exactly as crude as it sounds but still accurate. But even if it WAS a problem, you said yourself they wouldn't be worth your time anyway. Just take your time with it, you don't need to decide anything. There is no deadline and nobody is forcing you to choose any time soon. Definitely don't feel guilty that you haven't told anyone because until you have some idea yourself just what you are feeling you don't have anything to tell! Get comfortable with the idea yourself before you worry about what other people will think about it!
Threadstarter: Oh my goodness! I'm sorry. I was typing this whole thing on my phone and wrote months. Auto-correct must have changed it. I definitely wouldn't be so worried when I've only had three days to do anything. I've been thinking about this for three months. I was attracted to only girls for three months and when I woke up yesterday (that was also a typo. Yesterday, not next day), I was attracted to males. Sorry for the confusion!
Why are you so afriad of being bi? double the chances! Anyways i wish you well and you discover who you are
