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I'm already 21 , is it normal to start liking guys at this age ?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by rayan, Aug 22, 2013.

  1. rayan

    rayan Guest

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    I'm straight , i have always been straight .
    But recently -lets say during the last 6 months-I've started noticing the guys, to be specific, my best friend and my roommate mark .
    Is this is just in my mind , i don't know . But i really can't handle this any more .
    I mean how can i feel this way now ,at this age ? Shouldn't this feelings start in early teens ?
     
  2. qwr42

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    aaaaw you love your roomate? thats so cute!

    Yes, everyone discovers their sexuality eventually, sometimes it changes, sometimes it develops in their 40s!

    Let it be, tell mark, he could talk it over with you.
     
  3. Randy

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    It could just be a period or full-blown attraction. I don't know. I would let Mark know so you can get some face-to-face interaction.
     
  4. qwr42

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    bow chicka bow wow

    (couldnt resist)
     
  5. Amerigo

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    i wouldn't say with full confidence that you're gay, you could just be experiencing a liking for your room mate's personality. it also depends on what kind of feelings they are - can you be more specific (no need to be graphic :slight_smile:)?

    also, like qwr42 said, people discover themselves at different ages.
     
  6. rayan

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    oh , that is definitely not an option . Mark is straight and he doesn't know about this feelings that i have towards him .
     
  7. Tetraquark

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    I had no attraction to, well, anyone until I was 19. So yes, it is perfectly possible to develop new attractions as you age, even past childhood.

    Edit: Also, as for telling the guys that you like them, I tend to say that if you don't think your chances with them are good, it's best to only tell them if they would figure it out otherwise. If you're close to someone, they might be able to tell something is up, in which case it might help your relationship if they know that it at least isn't something they did.
     
    #7 Tetraquark, Aug 22, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2013
  8. qwr42

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    How is he about LGBT people? Is he homophobic?

    You dont need to tell him about your feelings toward him, just that you are questioning your sexuality.

    (i def have the feeling he would help you out with this)
     
  9. Randy

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    :confused: dirty minded little stinker we have here don't we?

    to the OP: As qwr42 noted, state to your roommate that came to a fork in the road and that you're questioning your sexuality. In the midst, you do not have to convey your feelings for him. In any case, it'd be quite good to voice some of your feelings and he can help you through this.
     
  10. rayan

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    Well , i don't know what to say exactly , i'm just going to write what's going on in my head right now before it explodes . Before this year as far as i can remember i've never noticed any guy sexually or anything at all . I was into girls , however,believe it or not i've never been with any girl ever . I've dated a lot of girls but i never had sex , i even don't know why .
    Anyway to answer your question , Mark does have a spectacular personality :slight_smile: but the feelings isn't related to that only .Let me put it in this way , we are best friends , we used to spend a lot of time together , the way he touches me can be normal but it really make me nervous i even get turned on . Now i'n using a lot of excuses not to hangout with him anymore as i really get nervous around him .

    ---------- Post added 22nd Aug 2013 at 05:13 PM ----------

    mmmmmm i don't think he is homophobic at all .
     
  11. Amerigo

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    ok from that it sounds like you have meaningful/significant feelings for him, and what you may be experiencing is the beginnings of a realisation, a realisation that you like guys more than you thought you did. i went through something similar. i thought i was at least bi, turns out i'm gayyyyyyy.
     
  12. rayan

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    oh God , i'm even more stressed now than before writing the post , i was hoping that all of you will tell me it's just a phase and it will pass .
     
  13. Randy

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    May I suggest a therapist? It sounds like therapy could help you get your life in order. I just thought off something else, might it have been possible that you were putting your sexuality on a "back-burner" so to speak? It sounds like this is what's going on. Your previous response is clear evidence that you were avoiding it.
     
  14. lowkey

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    Unfortunately I didn't realize till I was 20 I had a gay side.

    I think confronting your roomate is Terrible advice. No quick n irrational decisions here, especially with your straight best friends n roomate.

    Honestly, if your straight like you say you are, n get aroused to females then having a gay side should be viewed as a plus... Lol, just don't think to much, let your body decide.

    Remember, the real deal doesn't always match up to fantasies, so I suggest if you want to experiment you make a gay friend.. not as hard as. You think.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Aug 2013 at 06:28 PM ----------

    It could be a phase,.. remember fantasies are Not the real deal. Right now you are nothing but bicurious.
    The key is to get a unbiased view, you need to accept being gay as a possibility. When your ready to experiment and feel horny for it, go experiment.

    People cannot figure out there sexuality entirely, but they will come ALOT closer when they experiment with different partners...

    I say different partners because you most likely wont get a good grasp on what you like unless you have sex with a few males n females...
     
    #14 lowkey, Aug 22, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2013
  15. rayan

    rayan Guest

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    A therapist is a good idea . I shall give it a try .
    About the avoiding thing , I don't know , it could be true .

    ---------- Post added 23rd Aug 2013 at 07:42 AM ----------

    LOL :lol: it sounds so easy when you talk about it . I tried not to think so hard but obviously I have failed . Right now everything is becoming more complicated :icon_sad:
     
  16. awesomeyodais

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    Another aspect to consider and might explain part of your situation is some people generally don't feel instant attraction to ANYONE, and only develop those feelings for people after knowing them for a while - look up the term "demi-sexual". Might explain this recent attraction to people you've known for a while.
     
  17. rayan

    rayan Guest

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    This is me 100% :slight_smile: thanks a lot , a new term is added to my dictionary :icon_bigg
     
  18. rayan

    rayan Guest

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    Could you all please read my blog entry and tell what you think :slight_smile: I'd really appreciate that .
     
  19. Randy

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    Would you make your blog accessible to everyone? You can do this by clicking Blog Control Panel and checking the "View your blog" box whithin the "Other Members may..." subsection of the Panel?
     
  20. rayan

    rayan Guest

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    Done :icon_wink thanks for the instructions