Bisexual...Lesbian?

Well, you might be bisexual. You don't have to want to have sex with a male or a female to be attracted to them/be bisexual. I think you find women and men attractive. You don't have to like men and women equally, either, so your explanation seems pretty equivalent to that. Unless you don't want to be; it's totally all you to label yourself like that

 

Well have you ever felt turned on by or attracted to another girl or guy outside of the pornosphere?(<-- lol I'm laughing at my own word... I'm so cool) You are pretty young so I think you should look more at the romantic side of a relationship (because, well, hormones suck sometimes... like look at that tree, those knots look like boobs, I like boobs! What a sexy tree!) like how do you think you would feel cuddling and holding hands with a girl vs a guy? What about dating?

I think it's still pretty early to lable yourself seeing as you just began questioning based upon porn, which many people will tell you is not the best way to acertain your orientation as we are wired to react to sex of any kind. But I mean that's how I helped define my orientation but it wasn't a major part of the process. Sure at the beginning I was like omg! Porn! which turned into omg! Lesbian porn! But as I explored my feelings I realised I like girls... like a lot. But I can still recognize that a guy is attractive. I'm just not/rarely sexually attracted to them.

Either way just take it slow, there's no need to rush. You could be bi, pan, or lesbian but I think you need to let what happens happen and then look at it. At least now you are aware of it so you can recognize if you feel attracted to a girl.

Don't stress! Let what happens happen and ignore the sexy trees.

 

Just a note! (Trying to say this in the most censored way possible)
I have straight female friends who've agreed that lesbian porn is HOT. And, as much as I would love it if that meant they were all gay... with these particular girls, at least, that is not the case.

Guys in heterosexual pornography (at least as far as I have ever seen, even by straight girl's standards) are largely unnattractive. It's hard, especially when you don't have a lot of sexual experience, to physically relate to the sensations pictured in straight porn.

Lesbian porn, however, is MUCH more sensual, and often has more of a connection between the performers. (High-heeled-shoes-in-uncomfortable-places routines excluded.) Its easier to imagine what it feels like to the girls on screen, since what they are experiencing is similar to what a girl would feel if she were touching herself.

Which means, lesbian porn can cause "that tingly feeling" without the viewer nessisarily being attracted to the naked women onscreen.
I think the thing to ask yourself would be whether or not you like girls in real life too.

Just to put it out there! Your sexuality is the sum of all your attractions, I say. Identify how you feel comfortable

 

Why the label? Can you not just like who you like for the time being, and just relax. See what happens. See how you feel xxx

 

I find not having a label difficult, as much as I know labels are basically empty, artificially constructed things. I suppose I'm about Kinsey 4-5 (which in itself is a label).

Until recently I've exclusively been with guys, suppressing any same sex feelings. (Despite a number of crushes towards women over the years). I guess I have suppressed this feelings because I wanted to be a traditional wife and mother, and have/had some degree of internalised homophobia/fear of what people will think.

I tend to be attracted to guys emotionally initially - all the ones I have liked have been either very effeminately straight or unbeknownst to me, gay. I have never been drawn to men's bodies per se, and have never liked the thought of being a sexual object of men. I find the idea of guys seeing me sexually difficult. That said, the guys I have been with, I have enjoyed sex with them. On the other hand, being seen sexually by a women is bit of a turn on.

Over time however, I have realised that although I don't hate men, and have enjoyed being with them, I am having a greater pull towards women. I find them just so much more intoxicating physically. The first time I was with a woman properly a few weeks ago, it was a revelation to me, and very overwhelming. It just seemed to touch me on a far deeper, profounder level.

I wonder whether this greater pull and hunger towards women is a reaction to being in the closet for so long as a bi woman, or whether I am gradually realising I'm probably a lesbian. Any thoughts?

 

It's generally agreed that porn is not a reliable indication of your sexuality... The consensus is that it's made to be sexual, and to turn people on. To be honest, I would look at the bigger picture, on the wider relationship scale of things.

Can you imagine yourself in a long term relationship with a guy?
Can you imagine yourself in a long term relationship with a girl?

There is a decent difference between sexual and romantic attraction, and many people are now adopting labels that signify that difference (eg. a biromantic homosexual). It depends on what you want to 'grade' your sexuality on? You could focus on your sexual attraction, or your emotinal and romantic attraction, or a bit of both. This could help you find a more 'general' label such as gay/bisexual. However, you could always go more specific.

I personally see my sexuality as a very emotional thing. I can find guys attractive, but I can only ever see myself being in a relationship with a woman, and I could never see that happening with a guy. Hence, why I label myself as a lesbian.

Also, don't be afraid of time, or not giving yourself a label at all. Labels can be constricting, and we are human after all. We aren't squares that fit in a specific square shaped hole of sexuality. Time is your best friend in my opinion, yes it will be hard, questioning your sexuality is going to be hard, but sometimes the experience of growing up and questioning it actually helps you decide.

I hope this helps you out. Don't rely on porn as an indicator. Feel free to message me if you ever need to, I'm always willing to give advice. Good luck to you

 

Hm, Purplefrog, if I didn't know better I'd almost think I wrote this in my sleep. So many similarities, with the exception of one major one. I never, ever wanted to be a wife and mother, but did it because it was what was expected of me. If it weren't for the two amazing human beings I brought into my life by becoming a mother, I would regret ever giving in to those expectations. Although I can say that my biggest single regret is not putting an end to the farce sooner.

I'm only beginning the journey, but look forward to the day I can definitively say I am being true to my self and living an authentic life and no longer suppressing my soul.

In another thread "Big Guy" advised me that I don't need to stick a label on, all I really need is to be true to myself, I don't think anyone could give better advice than that. Now the trick is in putting that advice into action. Let's wish each other luck!

 

Off topic: that almost made me laugh out loud, the comments About the tree.:roflmao: which is not good because my husband does not know i am on this forum... :eek::icon_bigg

 

Well I'm struggling at the moment as have had a very traditional upbringing, so trying to tease out what it is exactly I feel, rather than what I have been brought up to feel, if that makes sense?

Last year I had a pregnancy scare, and was about to get married as a result, but it was either false alarm or early miscarriage (had a positive test). Quite relieved now, to be honest.

At church today (which is actually very inclusive), the sermon was about labels. It really resonated, as the message was "be what and who you are meant to be, not whatever label society wants to put on you". I found that so helpful. We can only br who we are, and not anything else. What you feel is valid, regardless of whether you fit into a neat category/pre fabricated label.