Ok, so I've tried to stay off this site because to be honest it is so intriguing and exciting to read about other lbgt people...it's like a whole different world for me. Long story short, I've been questioning my sexuality for what seems like my whole life. I have been with both men and women and bounced around from either sex. Fell in love with my husband, got married, have kids but I see myself with a woman long term...until I meet another guy that I fall for and that whole woman fantasy fades away. I'm at total loss with myself. My husband and I are completely different people and we do not connect as much as we used to. We have absolutely nothing in common anymore. He thinks this makes the relationship interesting, I disagree. My real question is I don't know how to handle myself. Ever since I stopped working (I just had a baby) I have been obsessed about anything related to sexuality. I constantly fantasize about leaving my family and life behind and moving to a mostly gay neighbourhood. I fantasize about being with a woman (again) and spending my life with her. I just wanted to point out that the reason why my relationships did not work out with women was because I would always fall for another man. I feel like I'm crazy. I have a 1 year old and a 9 year old who need constant care and I can't be in fantasy world or on the computer all the time.
Try to find some common things with your husband . Sometimes being in such stress with the kids just makes you wants to leave everything and be free . I'm not that experienced to give you any advice but anyone can have similar feelings at some point , but the difference is the actions that we take that will define what's going to happen next .
I may be pretty young, but I do know that you need to do what is best for you. If that means coming out or finding a counselor who can help you sort out your problems, do it! It helps more than just internalizing. Make sure that you have things sorted out because your kids will and do need a functioning mom, so you're right; you can't be in fantasy land all the time. Make sure you're happy, because you can't be a good mom and be depressed/sad all the time around everyone.
