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Sexual and Romantic Orientation If you are unsure of your sexuality, post here for support and advice. If you have concerns about coming out, please use the Coming Out Advice forum.

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Old 25th Aug 2013, 05:49 PM   #1
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Man, I want to figure my sexuality out

Hey EC,

So I've been struggling about this question for a decade now. Am I straight? Am I bi? Am I gay? Somewhere in between?

I've got caring yet psycho parents who are homophobic, which has also influenced this long debate with myself. Now I don't care so much what they think. (Which makes me happy!... well not sure if I should be though... but whatever I am!)

But now about my sexuality... unsure if any of this talk is graphic.. so just letting you know.

During my school years I did not experiment with either girls or guys, I was a shy kid. I primarily look at gay porn 'cause I find it hot, though I tend to like straight to gay guy porn, or the initial storyline climaxing to when they actually have sex. 70 percent of the time I glaze over the sex part, sometimes I get into the whole passion of it.

Anyways in daily life, I find myself checking out guys. But there are those (few and occasional) times I gain an attraction to women or maybe I find them appealing. (That's what I am not sure about)...

I did recently had sex with a guy for the first time, I found the affection and foreplay a lot more arousing than the sex part, which I only got pleasure through trying to please him. Oral and bottoming, just not that into it, not painful, just disinterested. But then again that was my first... But I know I like guys, so being straight is obviously ruled out.

I think (maybe its denial) I've been attracted to a few girls. When I see a girl of a particular "type" (things I like in them....) I get interested in them. I keep looking at them. But I don't really act on it. Maybe I'm shy. I'm interested in experimenting with girls. But then again I love trying new things... ... But this bugs me...
On occasion, not often at all, I'll watch some lesbian and bisexual porn, (out of the blue, maybe because I'm sick of gay porn)... I do get aroused. Not as easily as I do with gay porn though.

But my question to myself is am I gay or bi? I feel like I can probably answer this if I experiment. Maybe this more of a rant, but what do you EC folk think?

---------- Post added 25th Aug 2013 at 07:55 PM ----------



Just to add: I've always been wanting to cling on to being straight, its been rough a ride, but know I admit to myself that I like boys.
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Old 25th Aug 2013, 11:18 PM   #2
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Re: Man, I want to figure my sexuality out

Sounds like you're bi but lean more towards the gay side. Nothing wrong with that. I thought I was straight my whole life but recently have been having a bi curiosity thing happen. I too have homophobic parents and grandparents. If I came out to them they may or may not burn me at the stake lol. But yeah I'd say your a wind direction on the weather channel. Like, the wind is blowing NNW (north north west) but you're gay gay bi lol sorry, kinda bad analogy. Anyway, cheers!
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Old 26th Aug 2013, 06:33 AM   #3
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Re: Man, I want to figure my sexuality out

Well, you know you like guys, no? So, as you said, you're not straight. You do sound like a gay leaning bi guy, but only you can know for sure. If you ever meet a girl with whom you "click" with, you'll know it. The label doesn't matter, so don't let that stop you from pursuing someone you are attracted to.
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Old 26th Aug 2013, 10:42 PM   #4
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Re: Man, I want to figure my sexuality out

Lol great analogy. Totally understand.
And that's what I've been thinking... gay gay bi or gay leaning bi.
But as you say labels don't matter, I'll just go with what I feel.
Thanks!
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Old 27th Aug 2013, 01:31 AM   #5
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Re: Man, I want to figure my sexuality out

Maybe you're one of those lucky few that gender isn't the deciding factor in your attractions to people.
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