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Bi versus Pan-sexual

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BookDragon, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. BookDragon

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    So a friend and I have been discussing this and I need some outside input!

    So as I understand it the definitions are as follows:

    Bi-sexual: Attracted to male or female
    Pan-sexual: As above but also trans (is there more to this?)

    I'm having a hard time explaining what I'm asking here without saying something accidentally offensive so if I slip and say the wrong thing I apologise!

    So I'm sitting here thinking I know I like girls. I know I like guys. I know I like cross dressers, transwomen, the idea of transmen is appealing (although I don't know if that's intellectual curiosity or actual attraction)...but what is it about the the non-binary genders (is that what I mean) that people don't like or find themself not attracted to?

    Did any of that make sense AT ALL?
     
  2. Adi

    Adi
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    I don't even understand what a "non-binary gender" even is. Aren't trans people "non-binary"?
     
  3. BookDragon

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    yeah...so what is it about a trans person that makes a bisexual person go 'uh no thanks' and move on
     
  4. Stephany

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    I've had this debate in my head all the time. Am I bi - or gender blind, because there are some transgender men/women I've been attracted to as well. It's too confusing. I just am attracted to people :slight_smile: I identify as Bi, as it is a whole heck of a lot easier to explain than pan or any other label.
     
  5. Hexagon

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    The simple definitions are: Bi=2, Pan=All
    Some definitions of pansexual suggest a different attitude towards gender, finding gender irrelevant when it comes to love/lust. Personally, I refer to myself as both bisexual and pansexual. I'm not going to force anyone to follow arbitrary definitions of either, to be honest.

    Not all bisexuals reject trans people. This could be because they're fine with transpeople, just not gender blind, if they follow that definition of bi/pan, or because they simply ID as bisexual because its easier than explaining to everyone they meet what pansexual means.

    Just out of curiosity, why the '-'?

    Non-binary genders are genders which fall outside of the gender binary, that is, men and women. Many trans people are men and women, making them binary. Non-binary genders are things like genderqueer, genderfluid, agender etc.
     
    #5 Hexagon, Aug 29, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2013
  6. Adi

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    I think a detailed honest answers to this question would be seen inappropriately offensive. Just ask yourself why a straight person finds being with someone of the same sex unappealing. Or why a gay person finds being with the opposite sex unappealing.
     
  7. Valkyrimon

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    I hate it when people describe the difference between pan and bi as "pan includes trans people too". It's stupid because a huge number of trans people are men and women and so fit into potential partners of someone bisexual. It's annoying.
     
  8. Sinopaa

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    The problem is that so much of society is imprinted into thinking that gender and sexuality is this binary penis = male, vagina = female. A lot of people never take into account the vastly different mindsets and other physical attributes they are attracted to. Case in point: I have a homosexual cisgender friend who explained his sexuality when we first met by saying "I really like dick, so I guess people would say that makes me gay!" and laughed. I responded with "So you would date a trans* woman who's comfortable with her penis? Have you ever seen a hot trans* man before?". He stopped laughing and was rather surprised because the concept that a girl could have a penis or that a guy might not have one never crossed his mind. In the end he admitted that he also liked the physical look and mentality of other men as well and apologized for being offensive. Was he doing it on purpose though? No. He just assumed that everything male came pre-packaged with a penis.

    I myself identify as a Gynesexual because I'm strongly attracted to the minds and attributes of other women; what's between their legs doesn't matter to me. While I'm currently not comfortable having a penis and will get mine removed one day I'm not going to judge other girls any less for deciding to keep theirs. That's why I ditched the lesbian label; because people always just assumed then that a vagina is needed to make me happy. And I'm not bi or pansexual because I honestly don't find a males mentality attractive. At the end of the day we all have our quirks of what we prefer in people. I prefer to date feminine women with long hair. Would me not actively seeking out to date someone who has a short haircut be seen as being biased? Most likely, but it's how I'm hard-wired. Does it mean that I'll never find someone with short hair or a more gruff personality attractive? No, because I won't shut out that possibility. Can I see myself falling over a guy who's both physically and mentally attractive to me? I highly doubt it, but it could happen one day. If it does I'm not going to yell "Oh my god he's a guy! This is so gross!". People need to learn where preferences end and unfounded phobia begins.
     
  9. BookDragon

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    Thanks for the input guys, it helps a lot :slight_smile:
     
  10. unknown17050

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    From what I have learned about sexual orientations on this site; it goes as such:

    Bisexual: Attracted to Men and Women alike

    Pansexual: Attracted to Men, Women, Trans, Cis, Bigendered and Non-Gendered/GenderNeutral people alike.
     
  11. Tetraquark

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    I identify as bisexual, and so far I haven't seen a single definition on this thread that matches how I would define bisexuality. I think most bisexuals would feel (rightfully) offended by the suggestion that we don't find trans* people attractive.

    To me, bisexuality as an identity (as opposed to merely a descriptor saying "sexually attracted to all genders," by which definition I may or may not be bisexual) means that while I can be attracted to someone of any gender (including non-binary people), gender still plays an important role in how and to what degree I find someone attractive. In contrast, it seems that pansexuality refers more to being attracted to someone regardless of what their gender is -- "not seeing gender," I suppose. (Any pansexual people who disagree are welcome to correct this definition, as I am much more familiar with the bisexual side of this "debate.")
     
  12. OpticChaos89

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    Pretty much hit the nail on the head for me.

    The only thing I would disagree with that I've read somewhere on here is that for pansexual the mentality of the person (e.g. male or female or neither or . . . ) is irrelevant to our sexual attraction. That's where the romantic orientation kicks in. Or am I just being too picky? :lol:
     
  13. GirlWhoWaited

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    For me, it's the deeply troubling idea that my partner could steal my shoes, but I couldn't steal his (or her's...terminology=confusing). Lol. JK. :wink: Serious answer time. I'm not totally unattracted to FTM, and I like some androgynous-looking people. It's just preference, I guess. I'm attracted to people like I'm attracted to cookies. I like white chocolate macadamia nut, and I like chocolate chip, but I'm just not a big fan of white chips in chocolate cookies. Not because they're not perfectly lovely, kind, acceptable cookies... I just... don't usually reach for them when I need something to dunk in my milk. Yeah... sorry if I've ruined baked goods. :icon_redf
     
  14. BookDragon

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    I've been on this website like 3 weeks and I'm sure I've learned more from these discussions than I have probably anywhere else! Thanks for the responses guys!