I have a few questions about orientation, and I during my search for answers I found this site, and I was hoping that some of you could shed some light on some of my inner thoughts and feelings. I don't really have anyone else I can talk to about this, so anything you have to offer would be great. For quite some time now I've been having thoughts about men while masturbating. I start off thinking about women who I find attractive, but they don't quite get me all the way there. I have to think about what I find attractive in a man to finish. I'll readily admit that I find men attractive, as well as women, and I don't really have a problem thinking about men, but it can get terribly confusing! My main concern is what will happen when I actually start to have sex. I'm a virgin in every sense of the word, and I'm concerned about what might happen if I start a relationship with a woman, and then come to find that I can't be completely satisfied with her. Even though I like to think about guys, I don't particularly want a relationship with a guy, and I'm not sure I actually want to have sex with one. I tend to feel connections better with women than men, and I really do want a relationship with a woman. I think that's about it! If you need to know more in order to help me, feel free to ask! And thank you so much for reading and responding! (*hug*)
Your situation sounds rather interesting. By the sounds of it, you seem to rather curious. Clearly you have some physical reaction to men, but not emotional. Have you ever considered looking at your sexuality from two different angles? Essentially there is physical (sexual) attraction and emotional (romantic) attraction. So you could just be a heteromantic bisexual? Although I get that that may seem very confusing to someone who is questioning. Ultimately, I wouldn't say you're necessarily gay, or to a large extent bisexual. The use of the Kinsey Scale might be useful. To find good information on it, I'd look here. By the looks of it, I would say you're Kinsey 1. Which is predominantly heterosexual, and only incidently homosexual. This would explain your mostly straight feelings, especially concerning the bigger picture such as relationships.
It actually does help to think about it that way. There are certainly some definite lines when it comes to the differences between an emotional attraction and a physical one. I love the quote from Kinsey on the wiki page: "The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects." It's so true! But back to the point! I'm still concerned about the fact that a woman may not be enough to satisfy me. Even if I'm attracted to her and able to have sex, what does it say if women, in general, aren't enough to fulfill me in the physical department? It worries me, because I know that it could take a toll on a relationship if both of us aren't happy with both sides. I guess another question that this raises is how can I be sure of myself when going into a relationship with a woman? I would love to experiment and find out for sure what really pleases me, but I don't think I could have sex without being rather committed, and it seems a rotten thing to do to lure someone into that kind of relationship just for my own experimentation. How could I resolve that?
