Close to getting settling down but the questions remain

Whoa! Just calm down; take things slow for a minute man, first off; I'd hardly consider tingly balls as a sign of genital arousal; I'd consider getting hard and a boner as a sign of genital arousal most importantly; first off, ask yourself, can you see yourself in a relationship with a man? Do you enjoy the idea of being with a man? Does any of it burden your inclinations towards women altogether? Basically you are more worried about the future more than the current, live in the now and enjoy the ride, if it bothers you that much ask yourself that question from the top; "Can I see myself with a fellow man?"

 

Hmmm...I'm not sure the question "can I see myself with a man" is the best way for a questioning person to gain any perspective. A lot of people's true answer to that question is hindered by their perceptions of how society would perceive them in a same sex relationship, family implications, their friends, etc. I'm sure that there are a lot of people who came out later in life who when younger would have answered that question in the definitive no.

There are two things which I find sort of "alarming" or interesting may be a better term for your situation. Straight guys, in my opinion and experience, rarely if ever have a questioning period. If it does happen, it is much earlier in life (like 13/14) when going through puberty. I just don't think if you are straight you ever question. Also, I don't believe that a "100% straight guy" is afraid to have sex with a girl due to lack of experience, especially with a girlfriend and especially if she is also a virgin. I remember I thought I wasn't having sex with girls because I was "inexperienced and it would be awkward for her/I wouldn't know what to do" but that was an immature thought and me covering up for the fact that I wasn't interested in the act. This is just based on my personal experience. A straight guy isn't afraid to have sex with a girl. It is also interesting you say that talking about LGBT issues makes you uncomfortable, I was/am the same way.

These are some questions I would explore and try to HONESTLY answer for yourself. They are just trying to provoke some thought. Do you enjoy forming an emotional connection with a guy or a girl? Would you rather be invisible in a guys locker room or a girls? Do you enjoy the company of men or women better? Remember, a long term relationship is about an emotional connection. Who do you enjoy connecting with?

Honestly, if you are about to get married and are this confused and stressed I would consider seeing someone professional to figure out these issues before you get married.

Best of luck,

 

I'll echo what Unknown said, but with the knowledge that if I had been more open to the idea of being gay before getting married, both myself and my wife (who I am currently in the process of divorcing) would have been happier apart.

So much goes into the decision to marry someone, but I would rather you respect your doubts and give them a full hearing before embarking into a marriage that could be inauthentic.

You need to use your imagination and in so doing, see and especially feel your reactions. Can you see yourself in a loving and sexual relationship with a man? Just examine that thought and try to be sensitive and honest with the feelings this may or may not arouse in you. If you are truly gay, or bisexual, these feelings will indeed be quite strong.

If not, you still need to know why you are here at EC...welcome by the way!

 

I personally disagree honestly, being fearful about sex with a woman because of lack of experience is actually quite normal; especially if it is the case of a 40 year old virgin sort of thing (nothing wrong with being a virgin but it is note worthy); mostly because if you really like the person and you want them to enjoy it with you, and your lack of confidence in your abilities towards having sex with said woman could be hindered; if not, I would be FLOORED if that ever happened. Also my experience by asking some of my friends who are dudes and have had sex before had said that they were nervous and fearful of what to do their first time; he did not even know his current girlfriend is a virgin and Straight guys do in fact have a questioning period; everybody does, it is just a matter of owning up to it, some question due to their insecurities and unanswered questions like myself who have never experimented and never even kissed anyone; while there are others out there who are currently on EC and are on to something in regards to their true attractions.

 

Isn't there any guy who turns you on? If you are having doubts about your won sexuality, you're marriage approaching is going to make you more confused. Why not cool it off with your girlfriend for a while and try to introspect alone. Having a lot of people around pressuring you to be straight or otherwise won't do you any good. I agree with most of the people above. Furthermore, try introspecting on these questions: 1. Who am I sexually attracted to? 2. Who am I emotionally attached to? 3. What are my deep longings? (Do I long to be with a man/woman for the rest of my life?)

 

in a UGA study men who identified as straight and were the most adamant about it were aroused by homosexual images.

i think getting aroused by guys, especially Adonis type specimens, probably isn't anymore than sexuality being fluid and your own appreciation for male physique.

however if you're really spending some time thinking about it, it might not just be you just getting the occasional case of "tingly balls". i definitely think you owe it to yourself and your fiance (but above all else yourself) to spend some time on these feelings. perhaps talk to her? tell her how you've felt attracted to men before but perhaps nothing too sexual (porn isn't the best test because someone people just aren't into porn). she might surprise you with similar feelings.

either way, i don't think you should ignore it but i do think you should be conscious of the fact that even though the odd male arouses you, you obliviously feel very strongly for her so maybe even if you do have attraction to males, it's not enough to end what you have?

 

You've got a serious issue there what you need to do (and I'm just thinking out of the top of my head) go to a gay bar met a guy and talk if he invites you over dont kiss or anything serious if it get you a little excited you might be bi but if you get very very excited then you know your answer you never know until you try

Just live a little