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Severely confused about sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by la2022, Sep 7, 2013.

  1. la2022

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    I'm a cis woman, 20 years old, and lately I've been questioning my sexuality/romantic orientation. I've got several issues with this, however.

    1. Lack of questioning from childhood I've heard lots of stories from other people where they knew from a very young age that they were different somehow. I never felt this way (although I've always had a hard time fitting in because I'm so shy and introverted), and I never had any crushes on other girls. However, I do remember being interested in looking at women's bodies, even if I didn't label that as attraction.

    2. Lack of experience I never had any crushes on other girls, but I did have two crushes on boys that I remember - but this was just because all of my peers would gossip about their crushes and I felt that you were supposed to do this, rather than any genuine attraction. I was interested in the idea of dating somewhat in my teens, but never had any people that I was interested in seeing (that I could find). I've only started dating/experimenting with sex very recently, and I didn't feel very attracted to either the man or the woman that I experimented with. I tried things with them more to prove that I could than because I liked them as people. Generally, I just feel insecure that I've never been in a meaningful relationship.

    I've just never felt a deep attraction to another person. I wonder if it's because I just haven't met the right person, whether the possibility for me being attracted to both men and women exists, and I'm just very, very confused and wish that I could find some kind of resolution for this.
     
  2. nasahi

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    Honey, there are seven billions people on this Earth. There is NO way only a handful of sexual preferences can be applied to everybody. You don't need a label. Go with your heart.
     
  3. flatlander48

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    Work on finding people that you like to be around. This could be for many different reasons: they are nice people, they make you laugh, they make you think, they are smart, they are kind, etc. In short, any number of reasons that would make them good company. If you don't have a lot of experience in being around people in general, looking for a relationship is probably not a good first step. People grow into relationships. That's just how it works.
     
  4. unknown17050

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    To be comepletely honest; you sound Asexual; I say that MOSTLY because of your lack of interest towards anyone; you did not seem to mind about being lesbian or straight for that matter yet you cannot seem to identify as such; of course this is only going by what you typed; the best way to figure out is think about what you like and what turns you on more; and what you see yourself and who you see yourself with in the future.
     
  5. silverhalo

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    Hey I didn't realise I was gay until I was in my mid 20's. Until that point I had never thought of myself as anything but straight. I wasn't homophobic and had gay and straight friends. I had never really crushed on any girls and I would say I kind of crushed on a couple of guys.

    Try thinking to yourself that you are gay for a couple of days you don't have to tell anyone else, but just allow yourself to look at girls and imagine you were gay, see how it feels. It doesn't mean you have to start drooling at every girl that walks past you.
     
  6. la2022

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    You're right, it's probably not a good idea to go looking for love when I've only had a handful of friendships in my entire life. I get impatient because I think that I should be at a certain stage in my life, being the age that I am, and I compare myself to my younger siblings (15 and 17) that are in pretty serious romantic relationships.
     
  7. flatlander48

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    I think the timetable isn't as finely measured as you might think. Our emotional development can have a lot of variation as to when it starts and the trajectory it takes. Evidently, you're on a different schedule. No biggie...