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I'm Not Sure If I Even Believe In Sexual Orientation

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Loving Too Much, Sep 7, 2013.

  1. Loving Too Much

    Regular Member

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    Helloo~
    I am a fourteen year old girl, putting that out there for whatever reason. I guess I feel like I should preface this post with that, even though I think you could read it on the little side bar thing if you were actually interested.
    I understand that to some people, for whatever reason, my age will dismiss this text as bullshit. I do not understand why, but I understand that it is so. So if you think my thoughts are bullshit because I am too young to have "experience," then by all means, stop reading this now.
    I am new to this site so I apologize for... basically everything, and I hope that this is in the right forum.
    I am very, very, very confused about all of this.
    I am a virgin, so the sex in sexuality is questionable, yes. But I just... I like girls. I have looked deeply into it and I think that I would prefer to have a sexual interaction with another female. But I hate to say that I am a "lesbian" or "straight," because I don't know what the future holds. I tried to explain my feelings to my therapist and she told me not to worry about it, that I haven't developed sexual feelings for anyone yet so saying I am heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual is pointless. But the thing is, I have. I am just super confused, and I'm not entirely sure what I want people to tell me. But here I am, layed out on a table nice and ironed for you. So... What do you think? Is there a term for people like me?
     
  2. yup. 'not straight' or 'questioning' or hell, even 'queer' if that works for you.

    really, labels on sexual (or even romantic I guess) orientation are just a quick and easy way to talk about who you want to be with. It's just the fastest way to express a piece of information about you, so use whichever makes you feel comfortable and change it if you don't feel like it's you anymore. You don't have to carve it into stone at any point in your life, and anyone who holds you staunchly to your previous labels is being shitty.

    So, do whatever you gotta do, call yourself whatever you feel good about and let that be what it is. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Loving Too Much

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    Thanks, that's just really encouraging and helpful :slight_smile:
     
  4. Saint Otaku

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    Well, sexuality is a complicated thing, and highly subjective.

    Sexuality, to me, is not decided by action: in many cultures, especially those inspired by traditional Christian morality (e.g. Victorian), conformation to such morals were supreme, so many of those of queer sexuality had to lead double-lives due to the pressure of being married to the opposite sex. So though anyone can have sex with generally any type of person, one will not necessarily enjoy it. What you enjoy, your preference, can be described as you're sexuality

    I don't know what you're therapist means by saying you don't have a sexuality. I realized my sexual orientation at the age of 10, so I don't doubt that you've had sexual thoughts. Perhaps your therapist is a bit ignorant and thinks you're too young, or maybe that you must have sex to know you're sexuality.

    I've noticed girls to generally be more confused in sexuality than guys, or at least that's what I perceive. As I've said, since I was 10 I knew I was into guys, with utmost certainty. I have friends who question themselves, but I haven't had these feelings personally.

    If you would like to be stuffed into a "sexuality box," from what I've gathered, you seem a "questioning lesbian."

    Hope that helps! ^_^
     
  5. Loving Too Much

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    Very very much so, yes. Thanks.
     
  6. Just Jess

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    So on a completely unrelated note I have to say you have great taste in custom titles and avatars. Don't spoil anything for me since I only got to read JTHM and not Squee.

    Just wanted to say that and welcome :slight_smile:
     
  7. fluteloop

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm with you. I'd say questioning is a good term. :slight_smile:
     
  8. srslywtf

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    What I say to everyone - label yourself based on previous experience/evidence, not on feelings..

    You just seem wise enough to know that on your own!

    Basically, follow your desires whever they take you.. then when you've experienced enough to look back and be certain.. call yourself what makes sense :slight_smile: and welcome.