Hi everyone. So I recently came out as bisexual but am really questioning whether I'm just lesbian really. I think I've found it hard accepting because I've been in a heterosexual relationship for 6 years with my current boyfriend and so have not wanted to hurt his feelings etc. But I am so sick of pretending. I have a lot of respect and feelings for him but only as a friend. I don't get turned on by him at all and can;t stand it when he kisses me. I've always been different, very tomboyish and had lots of boys as friends. I've been sexually aroused by women throughout my life. Don't get me wrong I have had pleasure whilst having sex with my boyfriend so does this mean I'm bi but with a preference for women? Or would you say I'm a lesbian? I'm starting to think maybe a lesbian because I can't really see myself with a man my whole life. I fins women very physically and romantically attractive. At the same time I'm terrified as I've no experience with dating women and have only had my one boyfriend. What would you guys say?
You need to tell him that you need a break to find out who you really are and take some time to figure out if you're really lesbian by being with a few woman.
Experiment with girls more you'll never know till you try you need to live a fun life dont doubt your self get what the body wants
The only thing is I'm not one for casual sex, and would only want to have sex if I was in a relationship with them. So I guess I'll have to break up with my bf to try it. I guess I already knew that though and I would be leaving him soon anyway as it's clearly not working. How do you go about meeting another woman though? I've never been involved in the LGBT community. Like what is the best starting point? A support group or something? I'm going to university so I guess joining the LGBT society group would help me get more comfortable with my sexuality? Sorry for all the questions
I would definitely recommend the LGBT society group - it's the one thing I know I'm going to do when I get to University: join it. In terms of your sexuality, by the sounds of it your liking for guys is very limited. Ultimately, can you see yourself having another long term relationship with a guy? This may be hard to maintain if you have no sexual and/or romantic attraction to him. Clearly, you like women in such a way that would mean you could have a long term relationship with them, and this would suggest you are in fact bisexual, or gay. It depends if you want to base it on your ideas of a relationship, or your sexual feelings? This differentiation can be helpful in defining your sexuality. For example, I can find the occasional guy attractive, but I can only see myself being in a relationship with a woman, therefore I identify myself as a lesbian. Honestly, it's your choice to pick a label if you're comfortable with it, and you don't even have to label yourself. And don't feel like you have to fit the label exactly, we are human after all. Good luck to you!
Thank you so much for your advice...it really has helped a lot. I can't see myself wanting a relationship with another guy tbh. I'm sexually attracted to women but also I am more romantically attracted to women. If I find a guy attracted I seem to only appreciate them rather than with women, I get excited and aroused. I also feel much more comfortable around women so I think I pretty much know the answer. I think for now though I'll just join the society and get more comfortable with my feelings before I think of labelling myself as a lesbian. But thank you for all your advice, it really helps
