Okay, so as a kid, I never had a problem with same-sex relationships, I even had a crush on a few girls in my class in first or second grade. I thought people would think I was weird so I pretended to like this one guy. As school went on I found myself having more crushes on girls, so I freaked out and, once again, pretended to like that same guy, until seventh grade whereafter I could move schools. I sometimes check out the odd girl, like I'd be thinking "Oh, she has a nice butt" but I've been told it's normal to do that. I have an amazing girlfriend who I've been with for four years, but it's long distance and I've never been able to actually cuddle, hug or kiss her the way I REALLY want to. We haven't skyped yet because I only have internet on my phone. We met over Mxit, and seeing as I'm kinda paranoid that she's not real, she agreed to meet me the week after next week (school holidays). I really want to see her, but I'm worried about what my parents may think! My dad's EXTREMELY homophobic (even though I don't know if I'm actually a lesbian or not) I've had crushed on guys, but when I think about kissing or uh... Other things with them, I get kinda grossed out/turned off. I kinda subscribe to the idea that sexuality is fluid, but maybe a name for what I am would help me be less confused?
No, you're not wasting our time, I know how you feel about long distance relationships; my past crushes were all on the internet.
Thank you! I"m more worried that since she's not actually here with me, that I'm more in love with the concept of being in love, and not the girl.
