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Another confused teen

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Etak, Sep 12, 2013.

  1. Etak

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    Hello, this is my first post on this site. I'm a very confused fifteen year old girl looking for answers and support. I'm tired of feeling so alone with this. Please help if you can.

    So here's my deal... I like girls more than guys. Like, a lot more. From a young age, I had romantic feelings towards other girls, though I denied what it was at the time. I always felt like I was different from the other girls, especially when they started seriously looking at boys. All my girl friends would say a certain guy was attractive/ adorable, and I wouldn't see it a lot of the time. There have been a few men that I've found attractive. The main one for me was Elvis (yeah, I know). There's also a Chinese actor (Nicholas Tse) that I still have a bit of a crush on. But for the most part, I find girls to be much more attractive. For example, I've always watched the girl more than the guy in kissing scenes of movies, besides for the two previously mentioned exceptions.

    Besides once when I was seven, I've always envisioned marrying a guy. But in all of my experiences with guys, I don't ever remember being physically attracted to them. I appreciated the little things about them and loved them, but never wanted to kiss them or be physical. I've fantasized about girls for over a year now, though. I have had crushes on girls.

    The thought of being with a guy disgusts me. I love guys, most of my best friends now are guys, but penises seriously gross me out. Men are altogether too hairy and angular for my taste. I've never really been girly, I could possibly be classified as butch. So am I lesbian? Am I bi? Part of me won't stop believing that I'm just a really confused/ curious straight girl. The idea of a long-term relationship with a girl still seems extremely foreign to me.

    Sorry this got so long, and please do say something to help if you can.
     
  2. Twinkletoes81xx

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    You may be a lesbian, bi or straight but it's really what you feel fits right with you. I would suggest to maybe take some time to think about this. The kinsey scale might even help. And think about your attractions and who you would be happy being with. Don't worry, you're not alone. It usually takes time to figure out and it's different for everyone. It took me quite a few years to know what my sexuality was. Good luck,

    xoxo Twinkletoes <3
     
  3. lioness

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    Your situation sounds familiar... what pops into my head is pansexual (which is like bi, only loves more than just two genders!) I'm technically pan, but I generally identify as lesbian because I feel more strongly (emotionally and physically) toward women than any other genders. So really, what I mean to say is you can choose your label, even from day to day. I told my parents I was bi. My friends think I'm lesbian. But I kinda like this genderqueer person I just met. I frickin' hate labels, but it seems necessary, not for myself, but for others. So, don't worry too much about picking one. You can pick as many as you like!! Lol
     
  4. Etak

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    Lioness, thanks for your response. :slight_smile: You're right, someone's sexuality is not something to be defined by one label. But I don't want to hide anymore. How can I come out if I don't even know what to call myself?

    ---------- Post added 14th Sep 2013 at 10:01 AM ----------

    Thanks twinkletoes, it's good to know that I'm not alone. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Etak, Sep 14, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2013
  5. malachite

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    Hello, I won't cover what everyone already has, but these feeling aren't just about sexuality, your teens are tough time because you're starting to discover who you are and being different is an added complication to growing up.

    BTW, I too love Daria.
     
  6. lioness

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    I know, it's hard. Everyone seems to like labels except for the people being labeled. My advice would be to start with coming out as pansexual, because then you still have space to figure things out, without having to hide your attraction. And you can always change your label later--most people's sexuality changes over time anyway. That's what I did (only I didn't know anyone who was genderqueer, so I came out as bi first).
     
  7. Etak

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    I guess I'd always thought that being pansexual was not caring about someone's gender. That's not the case for me. I'm very slanted towards girls. Could I still identify as pan?
     
  8. DesertTortoise

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    Maybe forget the lables. Go with your heart, where your desires lead. and later, later... you will see which tribe you find yourself most comfortable in?

    May you find it, and secure the comfort and support you need and deserve there.