Maybe someone here can relate to this? I am a 33 year old guy, married now for 8 years. I love my wife more than I've ever loved anything else. I enjoy sex with her. I enjoy her company and our relationship. But... Several times in the last year, I've had very intense dreams about having sex with a man.. (a friend from highschool who I haven't seen since then, although aged if that makes sense). Not just having it, but WANTING to have it. Wanting to please him, wanting to be "with" him. Growing up, I've always sorta felt like I wasn't completely straight. At the same time, I've never felt like I was completely gay either. Even the thought of being bisexual might not be right, because the thought of a relationship with a guy just doesn't really appeal to me.. then again, haven't had one... Sexual acts on the other hand.... *really* turn me on. So do acts with girls though, plus the added joy of relation with them. I've looked at my fair share of porn in my life. Probably some of other peoples share as well... and I've enjoyed looking at both women and men... even tranny stuff occasionally. Granted, I don't really look at any of it very often since being married, but every once in a while... I slip. I've never had an actual experience with a guy. The closest was with the guy I dreamed about. During high school, we hung out alone a few times at his house and there was this sort of .. vibe .. that never got acted on. As far as I know, he is (and has been) straight. At least according to facebook. It's been a long-term fascination of "what if" I've never written this stuff down before, let alone spoke it, so I don't know if it's going anywhere. I just know that every time I have one of these dreams, I get this overwhelming feeling for a couple days. Maybe a little guilt.. not really sure. The fact that I like the thought of gay sex, probably makes me less than straight. The fact that I like the thought of straight sex, probably makes me less than gay. Probably some flavor of Bi... But confusion and frustration lies in this... I am happily married. And I have this intense urge to experiment, but I have already committed to someone wonderful and desire to remain faithful. I guess none of this is an actual question.. and none of it is more than me just sorta mind dumping.. thanks for reading..
It sounds like you are very likely bi. You said that you have no interest in having a relationship with a man. But, remember, sexual and lustful attractions do not preclude romantic interest. Think about it this way: when you fantasize about a woman, do you think "gee, it'd be nice to be in a relationship with her" or is it strictly physical? It's the same way with fantasizing about dudes. I hope this helps
Hello, welcome to emptyclosets! No one here can tell you exactly what your sexual orientation is. Only you can tell yourself. But personally, you sound very bisexual to me. Anyway, you said that you have "this intense urge to experiment". I'd say, talk to your wife about your feelings. About how you've just recently figured out that you might be interested in having sex with guys etc. Believe me, it will be a great relief to talk about this to someone you can trust. She might even agree to you experimenting... but if she doesn't, I wouldn't sacrifice my happy marriage for some experiments.
Hey, I'm in a similar boat. I tell you, I'm in a LTR with a beautiful woman, but guys get me horny. Except, I never feel comfortable climaxing to them, and I don't have romantic feelings towards them either. Like, the idea of kissing them the way I would a girl just isn't the same. Doesn't give me the same feelings. Yet guys do get me hard, often quicker than girls. It's weird. Usually just their cocks. Though I always climax comfortably over girls. Maybe you are a disjunctive bisexual? No romantic feelings, but some degree of sexual attraction. I understand it can be distressing, considering I never even though about guys in my youth like that. I hope others here can be of help too. It just bothers me that sometimes I actually do get harder quicker over guys, though in every other regard, like I've mentioned, I'm very straight.
I'm a 36 year old lady who's in a similar situation. Romantically, everything indicates that I'm hetero. Sexually, I can get turned on by the thought of being with either gender. I'm also married. My husband is actually the only person I've been in a relationship and been intimate with, and I'm not going to leave or cheat on him. It doesn't really matter, but I have been wondering recently what the right label is for myself. I'm not sure why, but for some reason it's easier for me to define you as "bi" than it is for me to define myself that way. Maybe it's just because you're not me. I think the gender has a lot to do with it as well though. The research I've seen indicates that even women who identify as straight and claim not to have sexual feelings for other women will usually get turned on by pictures of a naked woman. Guys who can get sexually aroused by both genders are supposedly much less common. It makes me want to label a guy in this situation but not myself. But then I don't know if it's fair to apply different rules to each gender. It's confusing for sure though. Society seems to think that sexual attraction and romantic attraction are always interwoven when it's obviously not that way for all of us. I'll be interested to see what other people have to say about this topic.
