unsure

So where to start? firstly, I am a 19 year old guy and I'm unsure about my sexuality.
I remember before I even hit puberty, I was always curious about sex and girls. I would well play with myself at night thinking it was a girl, even though I was unable to even get an erection, and then when I hit puberty and was able to get one, I would start masturbating thinking of sexually active with a female but at this stage I was still unable to ejaculate it would just get sore after awhile and then I was finished.
When I was able to ejaculate, and was more educated on sex - before I didn't even consider a male could be with another male. hell, I didn't even know what a vagina looked liked before, but I was still interested in them because I heard people talk about kind of stuff from such a young age. Anyways, when I was more educated on sex, I started watching porn, It started of with just "normal" porn but after a few times of watching different porn videos and masturbating to them (13-14 maybe 15) over a period of a few weeks, I noticed the gay section of the website I went on, I was already sexually turned on at this point, and I noticed I was looking at the topless guy with abs and thought to myself this could be interesting, I watched it, and after ejaculating over it, I felt really disgusted in myself. and this went on until around 4 months ago, so like 5 years I would switch between normal porn, lesbian porn, and gay porn - but I always got disgusted in myself after watching and finish masturbating over gay porn or just thinking about it, and I wouldn't start of with gay porn when I get turned on I would have been thinking about being with a female, then say to myself 'I want to watch gay porn now I'm horny'

I've never had a boyfriend, or even considered it because I was really only gay when turned on, and there wasn't much physical attraction or romantic attraction. Yes, I have noticed other guys appearances before and think to myself "wow those muscles, he's sexy" but the idea of being in a committed relationship with him I'm just not interested, cuddling with him, not interested, having sex with him - sure I'll probably try it

I'm currently in a serious relationship (been together for a year) with my girlfriend and I do love her to bits, I'm extremely sexually and romantically attracted to her - but it is long distance, Its been this way for the past 4 and a bit months so I haven't had any sexual activity since the distance, we do what we can do to keep our sex life still active (watch each other masturbate on video cam)
but ever since the distance, I've been thinking more and more about guys, not only in a sexual way but in a romantic way too, thinking I'd have an open mind about dating another guy, that I would like to pleasure him and even stay the night in his bed. I've masturbated over normal porn 0 times - I have my girlfriend for that, but gay porn around 5 times in the past month and the "disgusting" feeling I had afterwards has went away, I no longer get that.
but I love my girlfriend and I just don't know what to do

Don't know if its relevant, but I am on anti-depressants for major anxiety and depression