Please see my previous post "Constant Nagging" I have come to the terms that yes I find men attractive. I don't picture a life with them but curiosity is something that lingers in my head. I am currently engaged to my beautiful fiance. She makes me happy more than I could imagine. I easily get turned on when I kiss her and loving eating her out. I guess the thought process of where do I lie in the label section is what bothers me. I feel no romantic attraction to men, more of a fascination or envious towards their physical beauty. Gay porn doesn't excite me nor has it been repulsive it just is what it is. I'm not attracted to the male form, more their facial features. Given the statement above, I can freely admit these attractions but why is my mind not allowing to accept it? I have no intentions on sleeping with men and picture a happy future with my fiancé, but I guess the thought of finding men attractive makes me feel guilty. What are your guys thoughts?
But why do I still feel a nagging presence about it? It is driving me up the wall! ---------- Post added 24th Sep 2013 at 09:31 AM ---------- If I was truly straight wouldn't I be able to just let it go? Point being, I don't feel straight nor bi or gay. I just feel that I can accept the attraction but that's it. Anything beyond attraction lies in the fact that I only view them as bros or idols (someone to look up to as a sign of beauty).
How old are you? You just don't feel right having some interest in men as you said... I don't think that you're bi or gay. Just relax, it's fine. As long as you're not sexually into men, you're fine.
Hi there, I read Constant Nagging yesterday so I thought I'd chip in with my two cents. For all intents and purposes, you sound straight since you don't have a sexual nor an emotional (?) attraction to men. You're simply able to recognise good looks. Why is that a bad thing? I could marvel at a tree and its majestic features, but does it mean I can see myself in a relationship with it 5 years down the line? Hell no! You can simply recognise a good-looking face, but most people can. In fact almost everyone can. What I'm saying is that does not equal "attraction" as you're defining it; you're able to appreciate it, but this appreciation is more akin to respecting a piece of fine art rather than getting stirred up down there. It's not orientation, it's only aesthetics. If that still doesn't resonate, two alternatives: 1) Try and let go of labels and just act on attractions. Try and talk to people on this one, the need for labels can be hard to let go of. 2) Perhaps your attractions are part of your sexuality but only a minor and extraneous part? Many people have fantasies etc., which form part of their mental orientation but have no bearing on real life actions. So perhaps in your case this is similar- yes, it's an element of your orientation, but it's exactly that- an element, a very minor part which does not influence your primary attractions, which are straight. You don't have to have straight thoughts ALL the time to pass as straight. You could just accept that the attraction is there but it's nothing you'd act on and it isn't enough to make you anything but straight. I'm NOT trying to confuse you with that last one, I'm suggesting you accept it's there but also allow yourself to accept that it's rather inconsequential.
Nothing you say sounds much different from how i feel about women. I "find them attractive." Once in a great while, i'm "curious" about what sex with one would be like. This is not sexually or emotionally arousing however. Honestly, you come off as a straight guy who is deathly afraid of any feelings *at all* towards the same sex. So you might be like a 1.5 on the Kinsey scale. Maybe that's your label. I have hetero friends who say things like "I can admire guy's beauty." If they can say that, and still identify as hetero and only date women, you can cope.
