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Are we supposed to feel a certain way after coming out?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by nowhere but up, Sep 25, 2013.

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  1. nowhere but up

    nowhere but up
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    Simply put, before coming out 1.5 yrs ago, I felt constant angst and internal pressure within, gnerally. After coming out to parents/family/close friends I felt better within. However, this year I havent been feeling how I thought I would. I've been feeling depressed and socially withdrawn from people in general (especially at work, due to fear of ultimately coming out [a few people know]).

    I know I am Gay though. I have not once fantasized about a female and not once have I had any interest in anything sexual with a girl.

    I've sexually fantasized about males however, for as long as I can recall. I've also been attracted to a male. I came out based on these facts.

    Its just that..some days it is difficult to feel comfortable in my skin (especially this year for some reason)...I tend to have an overactive mind which doesn't help either.

    I often feel socially withdrawn and feel like I'm against everyone. :icon_sad:
     
    #1 nowhere but up, Sep 25, 2013
  2. Ameya

    Ameya
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    Hi I am a mtf transgender and I think I understand what you are going thru. I have come out just this year to a few friends and it seems that there is a build up and then a let down afterwards. Kind of like what do I do now? I have learned that coming out isn't going to solve all of life's problems, we still have to live this life with all the ups and downs a before. I have resolved to just being a good person to myself and others, no matter who they are of what they believe. I can't control how they feel about me but I can control how I feel about them. I just want to be a good person living a good life and thats enough for me. If I am against other people then they seem to be against me, its seem to be just a play of my own consciousness. Hope this helps and I know you will sort this out and become happy and content with yourself. Love Ameya
     
    #2 Ameya, Sep 25, 2013
  3. Thewitt

    Thewitt
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    Theres no set feeling you should experience. Maybe you just haven't come to terms with coming out. I seems that the original fear of what people think of you hasn't been resolved yet.
     
    #3 Thewitt, Sep 25, 2013
  4. penguin machine

    penguin machine
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    I think you're just experiencing regular old depression and angst. Everyone in the universe gets that, gay or straight. Your sexuality and the revelation of it can only be a source of happiness for so long. At some point you have to come back to the real world and continue struggling with your regular challenges. Ultimately, being gay has very little to do with how you go about your daily life.

    So what else is going on in your life that might need a different approach?
     
    #4 penguin machine, Sep 25, 2013
  5. Kenny207

    Kenny207
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    Hey there! My names Kenneth, and I know exactly how it feels. I came out last march...and even though alot has happened since then, it felt like I didn't accomplish anything other then making everyone uncomfortable. But you've got to realize that it'd be a matter of time, and it does get better :grin:
     
    #5 Kenny207, Sep 25, 2013
  6. TorreyGlory

    TorreyGlory
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    Have you been screened for depression? Feeling socially withdrawn and against everyone are classic signs. It may or may not have anything to do with coming out.

    To answer your question, feelings run the gamut and there's no "right" or "wrong", although it seems most people feel some sense of relief.
     
    #6 TorreyGlory, Sep 25, 2013
  7. nowhere but up

    nowhere but up
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    how does this become resolved? this sounds like what I feel
     
    #7 nowhere but up, Sep 27, 2013
  8. nowhere but up

    nowhere but up
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    How does one overcome fear of what others think of you?
     
    #8 nowhere but up, Feb 17, 2014
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