I'm new to this forum, and I'm coming here for an answer to a question I've had for a few years now. I'm a 14 year old male who is unsure about my sexuality. When I was in the fifth grade, I noticed that I felt more attracted to fat people. I looked this up and I found out that it was called fat fetishism. I didn't know much about it then, but I know a lot more now. Basically, it's when you are attracted to the concept of fat individuals. There are many males who are attracted to fat women, and many females that are attracted to fat men. I won't go too in depth about the whole fat fetish world, but there are some key points I'd like to make. Lots of people with this fetish happen to be attracted to fat members of the same sex. I am sexually attracted to fat women, but I am also attracted to fat men. This is concerning to me because I know that I am also attracted to thinner women. However, they only turn me on if their breasts or butts are relatively large/wide. I don't watch porn, so I'm not sure how I would react sexually to a naked woman. However, I do get turned on by shirtless fat men and women with large bellies. I'm not sure, to be honest, if I'm gay or bisexual. The thing is, I only get turned on by the concept of fat as far as the fetish goes. Not what gender's fat it is, but just the fact that it's fat. I don't get turned on by thin men, though depending on the circumstances I may get turned on by men whose muscles are large enough to look "round". This leads me to the rather hesitant conclusion that I am either straight with a fetish for pure fat, or I am bisexual fetish-wise and straight otherwise. This doesn't agree with my religious views, though. I'm a Protestant Christian, and I believe strongly in the idea that homosexuality is not something to desire. I've always lived by the "don't hate the person, hate the sin" aspect of it, but I am still extremely uncomfortable about being potentially bisexual, or even gay. It would be great if someone could help me out here, because I'm very worried about a) my true sexual classification and b) how it will settle with my church and pastor. Thank you, mylhu1011
I'm not sure how many people have seen this, but please comment as soon as possible. I would like some help here.
From what I can tell you seem Bi and interested in the bear group, which is cool; Bears need love too. ^^ But I will say this; Forget about your christian teachings of homosexuality being wrong for 5 things. 1. Jesus never specifically said: "Yeah, guy on guy is wrong. " 2. That portion where "Man should not lay with another man" is from the old testament and in that portion, wearing a fabric mixed clothing and eating shellfish was bad too. 3. Many christians who support the LGBT or are PART of the LGBT are also in that portion of christians who only believe parts of the Bible that teach "Good" teachings. 4. If god made you, why would he make you gay? Does he hate you? I doubt that and so should you. 5. In the Bible he gave you freedom, well; he should understand that you cannot help it.
I am no expert on how and why fetishes work or what they mean but in my personal experience I have turned to fetish when I am uncomfortable with dealing with some issue or when I am thinking in purely physical terms and not wanting to deal with emotions... Like I have a fetish for some facet of something rather than looking at the bigger picture, ie, I can find this part attractive on a person so maybe I find the whole person attractive. When in truth I am ignoring how I feel about the rest. Or if I imagine this person in the scenario that is exaggerated then I might feel more into them because I can focus on the exaggeration part. Not sure if that made sense at all without getting into too much detail. And I am not saying fetishes are bad! For me I just have learned to step back sometimes and try to take in the other aspects of a person (how I feel emotionally, physically) and then see what feels more fulfilling. And from what I understand of Christianity...it's message is love and service of mankind and without all what I personally feel is misinterpretations used in ignorance or malevolence... The most pious thing one can do is find a person you can express love of and connection to in the most complete sense, which for me would not be the faking of a heterosexual relationship. But without getting past fetish I couldn't see which was my natural complete connection. Now fetish seems like a bonus idea to layer onto what I attracted to...sorry if I am not making sense Also have up seen that Matthew Vines video? It made me think of Christianity being about love above everything and points out where the misinterpretations are coming from in a way I think helps.
It's not that simple for me to accept the fact that I could be bi. I'm part of a very conservative denomination called the Seventh-day Adventist Church, and their official beliefs state that sexual relations are to be had between a man and a woman, as per God's original intent. I've done my research and found out that many other Adventists with homosexual/bisexual tendencies seem to be rejected by the Church and frequently ridiculed. There is a story in one article about a man who spoke at an Adventist gay seminary, where he told of his celibacy for the past fifteen years. He was denied from three Adventist churches, even having abstained from sex for so long. His words really struck me: "How long do I have to remain celibate to be accepted as a member again?" He said this with tears in his eyes. I don't want to be thought of as some freak by my church community. I've grown up in the Adventist faith, and all of my relatives are Adventist with the exception of my mother. Telling them that I could be bisexual would break down every single upheld perception of me that they've had. My church has developed some primitive acceptance to the LGBT community, but on the sole premise that they not engage in non-heterosexual sex. I read the article on this forum about homosexuality in the Bible and being a monogamous gay Christian, and I'm considering presenting that to my pastor if and when I come out to my church. If what I read is true, then as long as I engage sexually with a single partner to whom I am married, I will not be at fault with the Scriptures. If what I read is false, then I'm going to have to make a decision—whether or not I want to stay closeted and be accepted by my church, provided I am actually bisexual and not going through some "phase", or come out and potentially be exiled from the one denomination that I truly believe in. I'm not sure I FULLY understood you here, but what I'm getting is that you once saw fetishes as looking at the small things and not at the bigger picture, while it is actually just an add-on to your sexuality. I agree with you on this. What really struck me what you said about faking a heterosexual relationship. If I were to do that, it would be lying. That's against the Ten Commandments, something my denomination follows very strictly, and I'm very glad you brought that up. Very, very glad. This is a small step towards acceptance I guess; if I lie about being heterosexual then I'm affecting the lives of those I interact with through marriage.
As far as the biblical portion goes, I take it you arent really very religious(I'm only assuming). In the book of Leviticus, at the end, Its something to the effect, that placing any leather bound parchment/book higher than God, is wrong. Anyone who threatens you with the book of Leviticus, hit them the Bible
Actually the opposite, to be honest. I'm an extremely religious person, which s why this is of such great concern to me. My denomination has literally excommunicated members who became openly homosexual, so… But I like what you aid there about placing any leather-bound book before God, I'll have to use that one someday
