First off I'm new and would like to say hello to everyone :icon_bigg( been reading for quite a while though)! Now on to my question. So I have been attracted to men for as long I can remember in fact I think my first sexual fantasy ever involved a male. I always figured I was gay but didn't want to accept that fact and I guess i still have a slight problem with it being that I would say I am more bisexual than anything else. One day I asked a girl out, mainly just to get people who thought I was gay off my back, she was a co-worker had similar interest and was available. We dated for 6 months and I wasn't really sexually attracted to her so sex really never happened. I think i could have though if she would have intiated it but she didn't and I didn't. During the 6 months though I developed a strong emotional attachment to her what I would call love I think. SO this got me thinking, could I have an attraction to women? Maybe. I started looking at straight porn and had success with that. So that got me thinking even more, what if everyone had some attraction to the same sex and just was conditioning themselves to be hetero. Maybe I'm wrong here but I think with enough straight porn and telling myself I like women I could develop a crush. Could people be so worried about sexual taboos that they completely deny these desires? I know most straight people would say no, but i'm willing to bet that they have had at least one same sex desire. In fact I have heard to some extent that oral sex between straight males is somewhat common. They seem to to think this is a helping a friend out type thing. I also think that same sex crushes would happen more if we told ourselves they're OK. I see strong male to male friendships everyday, if it was acceptable in society I think many of these would have a sexual aspect, look at ancient Greece. As to my own desires I'm going to experiment and see what happens, Ill keep you posted. I guess most people would say i'm in denial and I might be but I think this is worth a shot so regardless of my current crush (my best male friend) I am going to try and find a hetero relationship. It has to be genuine though with sexual and emotional attraction. We'll see. So thoughts? Just trying to get input into this.
Hi. That's a really interesting idea actually. I read somewhere (don't quote me on this one) that 40% or so of Americans are estimated to have some homosexual fantasies/desires. I know quite a few 'straight' guys who have admitted having sexual attraction to either guys or gay porn. And guys can have some very strong bromance-type friendships. Hmm... you do make an interesting point. And good luck experimenting, by the way
Haha. Your "help a friend out" comment made me laugh. I've heard that before. It's a pretext for ANY guy who is not completely straight to get off with someone when in a time of need. And I'm sure it's common. I thought this thread was going to be about absolutes, but it's about attraction to men versus attraction to women or, at the very least, relating to them. You're exploring and trying to figure it out. You will. As for your comment about men in the Western world being able to be more intimate, and I'm talking platonically, that would be progress. There are a lot of people with a lot of hang-ups about this. It's largely cultural and it's sad. As for your physical attraction to a specific person within a gender, I tend to think it's mostly black and white, with a few people falling into a gray area that will sway with how other aspects of them change that equation. I believe this is my 1,500 post. That's a lot of crap I've been slinging.
What about your partner. Would it be fair to her. Any woman you love would deserve more. A man that she can connect with fully. I believe you will find you cannot offer her everything she needs. Your time is probably best spent coming to terms with your sexuality. I consider myself Bisexual and have found it very hard to deny my homosexual side while in a heterosexual relationship. Many of the Later in Life members of this forum have conducted your experiment. Perhaps you can read some of there stories and see if any resonate with you.
Closeted father, it would have to be a genuine relationship with sex and all, I would have to be in love with the women. Ill break it off if there is no attraction there because you are very right it wouldn't be fair. I just wanted to see where I fall with this. To be quite honest I've never been with a women sexually just men. So I at least have to give it a try.
