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Is bisexuality really the norm?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BearLover, Sep 27, 2013.

  1. BearLover

    BearLover Guest

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    It's harder to say "I'm gay" or "I'm straight" rather than bisexual because to be able to say "I'm gay/straight" you would have to be sure that you disliked a gender which is a hard thing to be sure of, most straight people wouldn't even consider a gay relationship so they wouldn't be sure that they are bisexual. Heterosexuality is accepted as the norm within society so people grow up to believe they are heterosexual without exploring their sexuality, they've only met a small percentage of the worlds population so how can they come to a conclusion that they are straight when there could be someone out there that they are attracted to? I consider myself bisexual but as I've never even thought about someone who is bigender (person who feels they exhibit two genders) I can't be sure that I'm pansexual, I haven't met every bigender person in the world so I can't be sure that I'd be attracted to one. Also, in real life as we think that heterosexuality is the norm, people won't be honest about being bisexual as they can get away with it, they just date someone of the opposite sex. How can gays be sure they are gay when they haven't met every woman in the world?

    It's like anything in life, if you've never tried it how can you be sure you wouldn't like it?
     
  2. MossyCave

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    Well, a "norm" is something that is common and deemed socially acceptable. The "norm" is technically to be straight because it's what is unconsciously expected and is common.
    There are some theories that everyone is bisexual, whether you choose to believe it is up to you. I personally think it's way more difficult to determine if you're bisexual/pansexual than it is to find out your gay.
    If everyone in the world identified as bisexual just because there's a slim chance there might be someone out there outside of what they think they want, regardless of that there would still be people who only fall for the opposite sex and only enjoy sex with the opposite sex, and people who only like the same sex. Basically if everyone said they were bisexual just because they believe the theory that everyone is bisexual, gay and straight people would still exist. It wouldn't make people bi.
    Pretend I identify as gay, that would mean I like girls and I find girls attractive and I want girlfriends and boys don't interest me even though I have thought about being with a guy before. There might be one guy one day I fall in love with, but that doesn't mean I'm not a lesbian.
    A lot of people do actually question their sexuality, I asked my straight friends if they've ever thought about being with the same sex and they said they've briefly thought about it but they know they have no interest. It's all chemical and no one can help what they like.
    Sure, I suppose anyone has the potential to fall in love with someone outside of what they think they're exclusively into, but that's not the same as being bisexual.
    Being bisexual is when someone acknowledges that they could have feelings for members of two genders, not necessarily at the same time or in the same way.
    Like, if someone has always liked the one sex and couldn't see themselves with the other ever, then they can conclude they don't like the other regardless of whether of not this changes in the future. I don't know about you, but I can tell when I'm not attracted to someone or a group of people.
    You can identify as anything you want, but being liberal and open minded isn't the same as being bisexual.

    I don't want you to take offence to any of this, it's an interesting thread and I'm not saying you're not bi, but I hate when people slap on the label lightly. But from reading your post, maybe you find it hard to know if you're not attracted to a gender, so you're bi. But for others they just know I guess.
     
    #2 MossyCave, Sep 27, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2013
  3. Tightrope

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    It's certainly NOT the "norm." Look at how many people, both heterosexuals and people in the GL community, diss on it. Not everybody does, but it can't be ignored.

    However, I think it's normal. The presence of Kinsey 1s and Kinsey 5s, for lack of a better descriptor, increase its prevalence. The friction of skin is the friction of skin. Appreciating a beautiful or handsome face is appreciating a beautiful or handsome face.

    I once read that almost every person experiences a peculiar and gnawing attraction to or fascination with someone of their own gender and it is transient, but throws them for a loop. If the mere thought of even acting on it crossed their mind, they have the capacity to be bisexual. If sensory arousal was not part of this fascination, then they're straight.