Hi, all. I'm new here. I'm an 18 year old girl, and for about two-ish years now, I've been questioning my sexuality. I've always known I liked men. When I was little, I'd have crushes on boys and celebrities like Orlando Bloom all the time. I didn't really know lesbians existed, and don't remember having any romantic feelings towards girls. But as I grew older, I liked women's figures more and more and would often find myself glancing at legs, bums, boobs, etc, and feeling like a pervert if my friends undressed around me. I didn't think much of it. As a freshman in high school, I realized I was turned on by pictures of two girls kissing. I felt naughty for looking up pictures of lesbians kissing on google, and again, brushed it off/chalked it up to me being a pervert or something. I still never had a crush on any girls at this point, and didn't think about it much until my junior year, when I started to wonder if my admiration of the female figure wasn't so "straight". My senior year of high school, I had a romantic dream one night, where I was meeting a girl in secret, and when I saw her, I was so happy to see her. Like nothing else mattered. We embraced, laughed, danced, and held each other close. I could feel that I was in love with her. The dream wasn't about sex at all, but the feelings I got from it were definitely romantic. I woke the next morning, and wished so badly that she were real. I pondered all day about what it would be like to have a girlfriend, and wondering if I could be bisexual. I wondered, also, that if I were in fact bisexual, why haven't I had any crushes on girls who are actually around me? Why has it never occurred to me before? But recently, I think I might have developed a crush on a girl. I don't personally know her, but she's on youtube. I love her unique facial features, the sound of her voice, her cute figure, and her personality, too. As far as her personality goes, there really aren't a whole lot of people like her at all. None that I've met, anyway. Maybe that's a reason I've never had a crush on a girl immediately around me? I love my friends who are girls to death, but I'm just not attracted to any of them. But also, I'm friends with a few guys whom I'm not attracted to at all, and there are entire "types" of guys that I'm completely not attracted to at all, either. Could it just be that I'm attracted to only a few select "types" of women, or am I just blowing bicuriousity out of proportion? In my mind, I can picture myself falling in love with both genders. But in actual life, I've almost exclusively had crushes on men, and I've never thought of myself as a possible bisexual until very recently. Do "true" bisexuals always know very early on, or have "always" known? Could it be that I just haven't found "that" girl yet? What do you think? Any advice? I'm so confused... :tears:
It doesn't happen that often where someone of any orientation knows from the start who they are, and who they are attracted to. You could be biromantic, but only sexually attracted to men- but I'd advise you to try thinking of women sexually and see if that's you. You could think of kissing your crush, and judge how you feel. Right now, you sound like you are attracted to an idea rather than a girl herself, but that could be seen as another call to discovery. You don't need to come to a decision right away- keep exploring, and don't stress yourself out over it =) I was so into Orlando Bloom when I was little. He's very attractive, agree with you on that one And :welcome: !
I am 17 and am feeling the EXACT same way. But I am a boy Thank you for sharing. I am very confused as well, but just know that you are not alone. Take care!
Thank you for your reply. I think I like women more than just romantically. Even though that dream I had was not about sex, I'd love to try kissing/etc another girl. On the other hand, the thought of being physical with a guy freaks me out a tad. I don't know if it's because of my general discomfort/lack of relationship experience with them or what. The thought of kissing my crush is certainly a nice thought :icon_wink
It happens differently for everyone Some people have always known, some people have an awakening later on. I can't tell you if you're bi or not though, but I relate to you possibly more than any other thread makers I've seen I had crushes on boys and male celebs when I was younger, I hardly knew what lesbians were, other than some bra-burning image I had in my head from some cartoon I once saw. I never had crushes on girls until I was about 14, and then I didn't really find men attractive at all and I started noticing girls but not just their bodies. As I looked back on my life I didn't really remember exactly crushing on girls as a kid, but I remember really really liking some girls, like the girl who pierced my ears (When I was 8, I wrote about her in my diary.. embarrassing) and one of my friends and I got really close when we were around 11 and I had guilty thoughts about her and it absolutely broke my heart any time she went on holidays or anything. Anyway, I thought I was a lesbian for about 4 years, then I came to college and I find men really attractive now. I don't know how I feel about girls really. Just go with how you feel, as you start meeting new people and dating you'll eventually be able to label, but even if you can't it's no big deal. I also had a crush on Orlando Bloom back in the day, I thought he was a gift from the heavens. And being physical with a guy freaks me out too even though I don't like girls much anymore (I don't think) I remember feeling more comfortable with them. It's like I would want to hug girls and stuff, and even though cuddling a guy crush is nice enough it just isn't like how girls used to feel.
