Hello everybody. I don't really know how to write it down as a forum thread. I talked to people online. Alot. On blahtherapy.com. I met some really nice and interesting people there. I'll also never met them again. But this is the first time I am writing a forum thread about this. I didn't even where to put it on emptyclosets, feel free to move it if you want. So, here I go, let's begin. I am a teenage guy in the U.K. I noticed I liked guys two years ago (approx.). Before that, I think I was already attracted to guys, as a kid, like admiring the male characters in movies without putting a label to it. There was nothing sexual. I was only a kid. Now, this is different. I like guys. I find them really good-looking. Their face, their hair, the way they are shaped. I like alot of things about guys. I always considered myself bisexual, and not gay. I soon figured out I was a gay hetero-romantic. I am attracted to guys, but I cannot feel comfortable in any flirting or romantic interaction with another guy. Any couple related activities (Dating, flirting, marriage (a big no-no), that sort of things) repulse me (I don't mind two other guys or girls doing it, by not me). I just find it "gay", as many people would say. I always imagined myself married, to a woman, with kids (three or four, and twins!) and I can't imagine myself with another guy, only sexually or as a friend (I have many guy friends). I concluded that this was internalized homophobia. I don't like working or promoting the "cause", I am pro-LGBT marriage, even though this is not for me, and I hate pride. I am attracted to straight and so-called straight acting gay guys. I don't enjoy gay people who "shove" their orientation into people's faces every five minutes and who remind people that they are gay, and brag. I never really felt like part of the community, and quite happy not to be in the community, as I find the concept of a big LGBT family to be quite ridiculous. I also wish to remind that I do not want to harm anyone's feelings, and that If anyone fit the description above, I have absolutly no problem with them, it's just that I don't personally recognize mysel, or feel comfortable, in this description. I am not out, to anyone, and not ready to be out just yet. I need to figure out more things out first, with all this homosexual hetero-romantism thing. Yet, I had crushes. On two guys in particulliar. I feel in love with the first one. A good friend of mine. I never told him. I didn't want to destroy our friendship. These feeling did calm down, and now see him as a good friend that I enjoy (and probably wouldn't mind getting benefits from :icon_wink). I then had a crush on the second one. He physically looked great. I used to take longer paths throughout the school to walk pass his locker. I even thought he hit on me once, in a very awkward scene. Now, I believe he is straight. Even though I am not ready to be out yet, I kind of wished I was, for some things. My friends always talk about girls they like, and who they find hot and things as such. I just stand here and listen. Sometimes, I'd like to talk about guys with people. But I can't just yet. I know I'm missing some crucial parts of my teenage years. Currently, there are a few guys I find cute (and hot :icon_wink), but I don't really have any crushes as such. And of course, finding celebrities hot (Gosling, Timberlake, NPH and Chris Kennedy Masterson (if anyone knows him) are just hot!) I hope I will get to meet nice people here, and hope this wasn't too long! Thank you! Bye! Lmwilliams (Not my actual name)
Hi It's okay to feel like you don't fit into the whole LGBT thing, that just reinforces the fact that regardless of sexuality, everyone is different. It might be something you don't relate to but that's cool. Anyways, don't feel pressured to come out or anything, even if you were sure of yourself I don't see the need for declarations. Just make sure to be honest with yourself and be open to things. I've labelled myself all sorts of things over the years, and back when I was really into women I felt terrified to come out. I felt like people would make so many assumptions if I said I was a lesbian, and people would never really understand what it is to be gay because it's about more than sex and having an "alternative lifestyle".
Thank you for your reply. I am somehow relieved to have written down everything about how I felt towards guys and girls. I chat with people online, but never said every single thing that was on my mind, which I did here Yesterday. It feels good. Thank you MossyCave for your great reply. I totally agree with you. A person is not gay. They are gay, music lovers, love pasta and hate grapefruit. They are one global person, not just a sex-driven being. Something that straight people need to understand. I am really happy to talk about those feelings with other people.
You never really mentioned anything about feeling sexual attraction towards girls, which makes me suspect you are gay and not bisexual. This is important because if you decide to go the "straight route" without any attraction towards women, you will be denying both yourself and your female partner a genuine love life. A lot of gay men identify as bi before accepting their true orientation. In cases of people labeling themselves a "homosexual heteroromantic," 9 times out of 10 they are experiencing this only through what society dictates as normal. You are so used to seeing hetero relationships that you can't seem to picture yourself dating another guy or feel anything romantic or emotional towards him. It's mostly society driven. You need to start allowing yourself to be more receptive and open towards dating guys. It will take a lot of time and its not an easy process. Believe me, I thought I'd never fall for a guy. But guess what? I have! I used to think of myself as "homosexual heteroromantic," but over time I allowed myself to be open to liking a guy more than just sexual. The first step in all of this is coming out to yourself and internally accepting your true orientation. Ignore all this hetero nonsense and what society has been brainwashing you throughout your entire life. It's easier said than done but the first major step is acceptance of yourself. Also keep in mind the whole "wife and kids" thing is not everyone's life dream including for straight people. A lot of people focus on career ambitions. Many don't want to have kids, including straight people. People who do decide to get married are getting married a lot later and sometimes not at all. Some women are having kids in their mid thirties or later. At age 16, you have many years ahead of you.
Thanks for your reply cm81990, However, I don't totally agree with you. I am attracted to guys. I rarelly was attracted to girls (only once or twice). However, I do feel love towards girls. There is one girl in particuliar that I really like. We have the same opinion on must things, the same tastes, we can talk for ages. And I think she is also into me. I like her, I might even be in love with her. But yet, I'm not attracted to girls. Heterosexual society and Today's homophobic world has absolutly no impact on me. When someone makes an homophobic, ignorant comment on TV (Gay is a disease or any non-sense like this), I usually laugh. These people are idiots, and are, in a way hilarious. They can't be taken seriously (sadly, some LGBTs did take them seriously, and killed themselves, because of jerks). I know I like guys. I can't, and am not, denying it.
