First post. Excuse me if this topic has been discussed alot, but most topic titles aren't very descriptive. Anyway, I recently more or less came out to myself. Long story short, constantly thinking about what label to put on my sexuality is just tiresome. I figured that being gay isn't really a big deal in my social circle. My friends aren't homophobic. I came to the conclusion that I probably should experiment more to see where I stand on the kinsey scale. So, here my situation with girls: -I don't really check out guys. Not in the street, gym, or pool. -I will however go out of my way to check out a girl in yogapants. -I prefer girls with clothes / lingerie on. -Naked men on the internet however are fine and dandy -The notion of sex with men arouses me more than with girls. So what's your situation, and how has that helped you become the glorious person you are today? The whole fluid kinsey scale is great, but wanting a naked man during the night and a clothed girl during the day (not just friendly) is hardly practical.
I've noticed that you said " I don't really check out guys." but "Naked men on the internet however are fine and dandy". By this do you mean that you don't really check out guys in your usual life, but you find yourself aroused by gay pornography? If that's the case then you might just be straight, arousal is not the same as attraction, and a lot of straight people are aroused by gay porn. So I suppose the question that you want to ask yourself is whether or not you find any men to be attractive, and if you do then you should explore whether or not the idea of a relationship, kissing, cuddling, etc. appeals to you, or if it's just the sexual aspect that arouses you. Human sexuality is complicated, and unfortunately the only person who can really determine what you feel is you. Best of luck in your search to discover yourself! The decision to question and explore is the first and most important step.
I just meant daily life and pornography at home. I should've been a bit more clear about that, but I can't seem to edit the OP anymore. Thank you kindly for the reply though.
Crap, I couldn't edit the post any longer either >_<. Anyway I've spotted more recent threads about pretty much the same subject. I suppose I could give my 2cts in those and see what kind of responses I get.
I know what you mean, liking different genders in different ways can mean seriously difficulties finding relationships. How I feel changes quite a bit, but this is how I've made sense of my current situation: -I check guys out. They're hot. -I don't know if there would ever be an emotional connection deeper than the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship with a guy. -Cuddling guys is good, but not as good as cuddling girls used to feel back when I liked girls. -Sometimes I think I am straight, but then I meet a girl who makes me think that I didn't even like boys to begin with because wow. But I still just can't ignore men as a group being so damn attractive. -Thinking about men at night does me better than thinking about women, which is new for me. -Thinking about having sex with a guy scares me, I'd need to really like him, and I haven't really liked anyone in ages. -Even though I don't think I'm attracted to women, I think I would have sex with a woman because I would be more comfortable and confident. I don't have many female friends, so I don't know if I'm emotionally attracted to them or anything. I used to only like women. Sometimes I have gay days where women in general just make me swoon. Recently I met a guy who I kind of liked, but then I freaked out thinking I could only be in a relationship with a woman, so I don't know if it was a defense mechanism and I see girls as a comfort zone, or if fight or flight is trying to tell me something.
Just curious as to what you see the difference between the two as? I agree with you on a "gut instinct" level, but can't get my brain around the idea.
Hah, alot of information on this forum revolves around gut feelings that one shouldn't think too much about. But I suppose I can chime in on how I've been trying to wrap my head around the difference. Attraction is what would catch your eye in a day to day setting. Where do your eyes wander? To the woman in the sundress or the man with the ripped upperbody? Being aroused however is what initiates your sexual desire. Men do not attract my gaze, women do. Women do not really initiate sexual fantasies, men do. This does mean that it is possible to be aroused by men, without walking the streets and having homosexual fantasies running amok. This also means that in the street I can be attracted to women, without picturing them in a sexual setting. Attraction and arousal aren't mutually exclusive, hence people are confused about their sexuality. This however is just my 2cts, and it's hardly scientific. It doesn't really make dating easy in my case, sadly.
