Okay, so, I have always been curious about being with a woman and many fantasies I've had have been with a woman also (general - not just sexual). Then recently I met a girl and we hit it off really well We've been seeing each other for about 5 weeks now and recently have decided to try out a relationship. I love being with her, and I enjoy her company, think she's beautiful inside and out, and she makes me laugh like a hyena (Something I see as a must in a relationship) but I'm still scared. I get nervous and worried that I'm going to change my mind along the route, or scared that I don't like her as much as she likes me... This is my first sexual relationship with a female, and even though I love the sex and feel incredibly comfortable and happy when I'm with her when we're apart my brain goes in overdrive and overthinks everything: "What if this isn't what I want?" "What if she gets hurt?" "What if I get get?" "What if I never like her more than this and her feelings keeps growing?" I just need to know, is this normal??? I'm obviously really scared about telling my parents as my Dad is very traditional and I know he will struggle with this but I know they'll try to accept it. I have days where I'm fine, so happy and love thinking about her Then there are other days where I worry and fret about whether this is what I want and I don't want to lead her on. My friend (Who is bi-sexual) has said it's normal to feel like this and that it's just the fear of something new and so I want take the easy option as I have been on a few dates with girls before (It didn't lead anywhere though) and then bolted because I got nervous. She is very understanding about the whole situation and is not pressuring me but I worry it's taking a toll on her now! I don't want to ruin things :icon_sad: Can anyone offer me some advice ??? xx
I'm a little confused; are you female as well? (your gender is indicated as male). Given you said your dad is traditional and may struggle with your relationship, I'm gonna go ahead and assume you are, in fact, female. Your problem is fairly common, believe it or not. And not just among LGBT, but also our straight counterparts. As we get into a serious relationship, often we have the impulse to bolt rather than be vulnerable to another person. This is what shrinks call "a fear of commitment." Because there are so many unknowns, and so many things that CAN go wrong in a relationship, some part of us questions everything about that, and another part of us concludes that this questioning must mean we don't really want the relationship. When in reality, it's just fear of what MIGHT go wrong that prevents us from enjoying the relationship. Ultimately, the question you need to ask yourself is this: Do you genuinely enjoy this person, enough that you may even eventually fall in love with them? If not, then you should proceed to spare her feelings and break it off. However, if you do like her (and it sounds like you do) then just stop worrying about it and enjoy her. It's not like you're getting married, just exploring the potential of a relationship, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. (I had similar feelings when I first started dating my boyfriend)
Yes I am female. Fail on my part there. lol. This is going to sound very strange, but you have made me feel like a weight has been lifted. I am incredibly scared.... Every relationship I've had (Only been with guys) except my first when I was 16 have been casual relationships - whether that be me getting screwed around and being naive or just the way it has gone - so I'm so unsure about what I'm doing, what's going to happen and what's going on. I have anxiety issues and tend to overthink and overdramatise everything (Drama graduate here lol) and I am also very pessimistic. This also make me incredibly cautious and snappy (Which I hate)... I don't wanna be that person lol! So... just take things as they come eh? Thank you for your advice. It has really helped. Makes me feel better that it's common and not just me tbh haha I hope things are going well for you
