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It's all starting to make sense but im still a little confused..

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by rabarber, Oct 3, 2013.

  1. rabarber

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    Hello!



    So I just did a test on myself to see if I am gay or not.

    What I just did was starting to watch only girls showing there tits and doing horny faces and stuff like that, and I got an erection, and wanted to see more of one of them. But the erection kind of goes away pretty fast if i don't consentrate much on the girl. But then when I masturbate I wont orgasm unless I like do it really fast and maybe tighten the leg muscles kinda hard, which is pretty much what I've always been doing, I thought that was a simulation for working with your but in and out while having sex.
    Well, however, I didn't do that this time. Instead I went in to look at gay porn, just a solo male without the face and tried it again to do it without trying to hard, and now I just orgasm by myself without even trying to hard.


    This should tell me Im gay right?


    But then what about the erection I get at first when I see the girls? Is it maybe just because it reminds me of sex to see that they are horny? And more the "act" of it?

    Then I think about all the times ive slept with women and it is pretty many times, it is kind of many, not to many though, and its been kind of similar sometimes, but very often have I not been able to help myself from orgasm, mostly from looking at theire ass.


    I never check out guys in real life, only when I test myself in porn. I always check girls out, everywhere, and get sexually frustraded that im not having them right now, I tell myself at least, don't know if its true.


    And about if I care about what others think, well, a bit, but if I just liked the thought of spending my life with a guy, loving a guy, having sex with a guy I guess I would do that, after some processing.

    But I don't want to, I don't like to check guys out, I've never been in love with one from what I can tell, consciously. I try to check guys out when im out to try and get used to it, but I feel nothing, I saw this good looking guy at the gym the other day, looked at his package in just underpants, felt absolutely nothing, well, a little sick for looking.


    I like to look at girls, they are beautiful and sexy, and have really great asses, and titties, I don't however like to see the pussy at all, it grosses me out. I did however always think that I just didn't like the look of it but I liked what it did to the woman.



    I guess I should add that I have had a few girlfriends over the years, one for 3,5 years and one for 1,5 years, maybe not the best, but I didn't really feel like I needed anything else when I was with them, but I did have a hard time getting an erection before getting to know them, and maybe in periods when I started to worrying about not getting it up again.


    I want a girlfriend so bad, for the rest of my life, nothing else, I don't want to be alone any more. Then I think okay what about a boyfriend, well can we maybe skip the sex then? And the romance?


    Maybe I'm just not comfortable with it yet?



    Now, can you see the confusion? I mean the test in the start should mean that my attraction for girls is forced and the one for men is "natural", right? But what does the rest mean then?
     
    #1 rabarber, Oct 3, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2013
  2. sam the man

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    Hi well you sound as though you're in a slightly similar situation to me, so I'll give a shot at answering with my experiences and what I've read here on EC.

    Well, porn isn't the best indicator for your sexuality. The porn you watch doesn't always align with your orientation, after all men if they're in a randy mood can often get off to a diverse range of porn. Lots of gay guys watch straight or lesbian porn, lesbians get off to gay porn, and a number of straight guys can as well. People can be aroused by porn for many other reasons other than the people in it: sympathetic arousal, general eroticism, or the taboo nature of what they're watching (the forbidden factor). In short: getting off to gay porn isn't a surefire indicator that you're gay. Don't dismiss it entirely, but don't put too much stock in it. Unfortunately, you can't really "test" yourself that way. At least not with any clear results.

    Real life is a stronger indicator, in any case that would be the natural attraction, and based on that it seems you like girls and aren't that into guys. That's fine. I think in real life you're behaving as though you're straight, so I'll say you might be a straight-leaning bisexual... but in any case, why does it matter which gender you end up with as long as it's a person you can connect with?

    Just be patient, you don't need a label to function or be yourself. Take it easy and and your label will come to you in time.
     
  3. rabarber

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  4. Starry Eyes

    Starry Eyes Guest

    Honestly the best thing you can do is to actually try something sexual with another guy. It's really the only way you will know for sure if you are into guys. I'm not sure porn is enough of an indicator of your sexual preferences.
     
  5. rabarber

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    Well, yes, you have a point. Just don't know how I would set that up and then also actually go through with it..