I have a question. I've been trying figure out my sexuality. It's hard to find a label that entirely fits. I am attracted to both guys and girls but I really only have emotional attraction to girls and I wouldn't want to be with a guy, physically. Anyways let's say I were to identify as a lesbian but than later on met a guy I wanted to have a romantic relationship. Does that turn off guys or would some guys be willing to date a girl they knew was lesbian?
I think that sexuality is very fluid, and it's a stupid rule society has about labeling as if it's black-and-white. One thing to consider is that you can find a guy attractive without being attracted to him. When I look at guys, it's like looking at a nice piece of architecture. Yes, it's well-built. Would I want to jump in bed with it? No! I'm actually quite anxious to see the other replies on this thread, as I've been asking myself the same questions.
I think how the relationship would work is a different issue. Realistically I think most guys are going to want to find a way to satisfy their sexual needs, and if you do get in a relationship with a boy, there's a risk that he'll say he's not interested in sex to get into the relationship and then later on resent you or say he changed his mind. I think situations like that could work if, for example, you were open to an open relationship, where you are together for stability, but he could have sex with other men or women. But realistically not everyone can do that without becoming insanely jealous. Could you? There are also people that are close enough that they are basically in a relationship, that never acknowledge the relationship, and for some people it means the pressure for sex is less. That's not to say he won't wanna jump in bed with you, just that he'll feel less bad about himself and his situation if you aren't together together, and it will be a lot less stress for him with the boundaries. But that's cruel long term or to the wrong guy and could from his point of view amount to leading him on. So really I think the safest label, even if you really feel it doesn't give a complete picture, is lesbian. It just paints very clear boundaries, and leaves the door open for close friendship. Maybe even more than friendship. But if you do meet just the right guy, go for it. Just, consider what he needs out of a relationship first, and whether you could ever realistically give that to him, is all. And be honest about your needs more importantly. You may not have much of a drive, but you will eventually want sex. Any sex you have with someone you aren't attracted to will just build up resentment and make the need for a real connection worse. I think just trying to read between the lines, you're worried if you come out lesbian, that closes the door on boys forever? If that's really the case, don't worry about that. If you meet the right guy, you meet the right guy. The worst that will happen is people will say "I thought you were gay!" and... that's it. Just surprise and everyone moves on with life. But if you are honestly attracted only to women, then I don't think you're doing yourself any favors saying you are bi. Because see above how complicated I think everything could get. And there are tons of successful gay women out there, if you're worried about stability. I guess to sum it all up I really feel like making yourself emotionally available to one person and physically available to someone else, no matter how you slice it, just is not something most of us mere mortals could ever pull off for very long.
Thanks. I'm only a young teenager right now, so either way my relationship will likely be more casual than you described but it's good to look at the big picture. I guess my main concern is that when I was about ten or eleven I was sort of boy crazy so it's kind of confusing that I'm not really into guys anymore (although looking back my attraction then was mostly to male singers/actors/hockey players and something seemed really off when I liked guys I knew).
A lot of people here will say they are bisexual, but have a romantic preference for one sex. So you could be attracted to both sexes but only find other women to have what you need emotionally.
you just said your only emotionally attracted to women, and not physically attracted to men so i think the answer is Clear. also, Im a guy, bisexual, and i would not mind. i have crushed REALLY HARD on three lesbians. imo lesbians are awesome! i think alot of guys like lesbians too more then they don't. regardless, this is You, don't try to live another's life because you saw it in a movie.. nah mean anyways, just follow your happiness not your dream of an idea
