Is it true that whatever you don't want to be is what you are? Since I don't want to be bisexual, does it mean that I really am bisexual? I've tried that identity on, but it didn't fit me. I've tried identifying as a lesbian. I'm not sure that fits either. I guess I'm "queer". The problem with that label is that most people don't know what it means. I really don't want to explain to people what it means.
how come "lesbian" or "bisexual" didn't fit? Maybe you can try "fluid" - if you find that your attractions keep changing?
I sometimes feel somewhat attracted to guys, but my attraction to guys feels incomplete and inauthentic. I suspect it is caused by my OCD because I never felt remotely attracted to guys until I came out as a lesbian and everyone doubted who I was. After I came out I was scared that I was becoming straight. Eventually I identified as bisexual to compromise. I was okay about it for a while, but then it felt really wrong. Identifying as lesbian feels a bit wrong because it's hard for me to prove to myself that I don't like guys.
I don't want to be a child murderer, but I definitely am not one...the only reason that might be true is if you were in serious denial but there is no reason to take that as law... Labels are useful to people but they rarely fit perfectly. If 'queer' works for you, then fine. if other people say you're something else, you can either correct them and explain queer to them or let them off with bisexual or whatever they come up with. Don't force yourself to be comfortable with a label that doesn't suit.
Ok, so since your attractions to men doesn't really fit and I'm guessing women fit better then maybe you can identify as bi but leaning to women? Also, remember that labels are just that, they may not fit perfectly. For example; A man who is mostly attracted to men and rarely attracted to a woman may choose to identify as gay - just cause he doesn't want to tell his life story every time he is asked lol. You can also identify as unlabelled if you're finding it hard to find a label that fits perfectly.
