So within the past year I've started noticing...well...that I find myself attracted to both genders. I'm 16 and people tell me that I shouldn't be worried about what I identify as but I do worry about it. I've only ever been with guys so far and I've found experiences with them to be unappealing (mainly because they were awful people). Now more than ever, I'm realizing that I can picture myself more easily with a girl than with a guy, but I don't know if what I'm feeling is wise or not because I've never been with a girl before. My bisexual friend (who is partial more to girls) said that I have to just try to hook up with guys and girls and see which appeals to me more. Problem is, I have no idea how to mingle or how to recognize whether or not someone swings my way. Knowing my sexual orientation would take so much stress off of me. Does anyone have any advice as to what I should do? Thank ya'll so much
You are very brave and mature for being so honest with yourself about your feelings. When I was 16, I (and countless others, I'm sure) kept my attraction to the same sex so repressed! Luckily you don't need to pass any tests or prove anything to anyone to know "for sure" that you like girls, you can just inherently know it. It's good that you so readily acknowledge your current interest in women. However, as you and your friends continue to change, things will start to work themselves out. My advice to you is to explore your sexuality at your own pace. Don't ever feel obligated to be involved with a girl. You have lots to focus on in your life, and although it is super confusing trying to figure these things out, it's not worthwhile to dwell too much on these things or worry about what you "should be doing". I think all you need is to follow your intuition. Sure, you can try to find girls to experiment with, but think about the potential consequences first. I actually rushed into having sex with a girl in order to "prove it" to myself and I didn't end up any smarter or wiser or better or less confused than I started. It's taken a lot of time to work through my feelings and I still don't know how to describe my sexuality, all I know for sure is that I am attracted to girls. I have seriously honed my gay-dar in the last 4 years although I'm not sure if I can give any great signs for telling if a girl is gay. Some girls make more eye contact, whereas others immediately avoid eye contact, especially if they are closeted or shy. I think girls who dress more for themselves than for others also seem to be more "individualistic" and therefore more likely to be gay. Girls who like girls come in so many different varieties so it can be hard to tell! The biggest indicator sometimes, is just that gut feeling you get when you see someone. Their mannerisms, style, and body language may either lay it all out for you but some girls are a mystery. It's an ongoing process. Don't stress too much. Take it easy on yourself!
