For months now i’ve loathed my own sexual identity and not because being a lesbian is awful, because it’s not, but because I’ve put a name to my own sexual orientation and I just haven’t liked doing that because labelling myself as a lesbian just hasn't made me happy For a while I thought it was some internalized homophobia that I've had before that’s come back again or something?? but i realize now that isn't the problem at all I didn't like labelling myself as a lesbian because i realize I'm not even though i have a preference for ladies in general (like a huge preference tbh like 90%) but there are so many people of all gender identities and sexes that I've been attracted to and cared for and i’ve felt so horrible because I've tried so hard to express this to others to be told ‘wait you can’t find so and so attractive because your a lesbian and thus are only attracted to women’ and it feels like I've totally betrayed myself when in reality i haven’t I'm happy about my sexuality for the first time in a long while and i honestly don’t care what anyone thinks about it i’ve not been my happiest for the past two weeks or so because of reasons but this. this i think is a step forward and for that im so fucking grateful like you have no idea (!)
I do believe that when it comes to matters like sexuality and gender, complex is best. However, it may be that I would think that, being a genderfluid queer. I'm glad you've come to terms with not fitting a narrow category 100%.
I just love who I love and I believe that me accepting that instead of putting myself in a narrow category is better the way to go. Thank you for the support!
