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How to experiment without a label and while still being in the closet?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Avila, Oct 13, 2013.

  1. Avila

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2013
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I just got out of a LTR with a man and have only dated men in the past. I realized I've repressed my feelings for women that I can remember having ever since I was a child (but I've also gotten those "butterfly" feelings around men too). I'm comfortable with the idea of dating a woman, but I'm not sure how to experiment without being totally out and without knowing exactly what I "am". Although I've had feelings for men in the past, recently the thought of being with a man seems really disgusting, and I am so happy to be out of a relationship with one! On the other hand, I get those excited feelings around women/when I think about women, but I've never actually "been" with one (just kissing) so I'm not sure if I'll even like it!

    Basically I am out to a few close friends as: "at least a little bit gay/sexually fluid". Anyone have good suggestions on how to experiment with other women without having to find a label? How to even MEET other woman when you "look" like a straight girl (I do live in a big city)? Yikes! Lots of questions!
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, you'll find yourself with a label one way or the other, evening if that label is 'questioning' or 'bi-curious' or something similar.

    As for how to meet people while looking like a straight girl, go out into your 'big city' and play spot the lesbian. No points for two girls holding hands. Nobody looks like a straight girl or a lesbian because it's not a fashion choice (unless you're wearing a shirt saying AM LESBIAN DURR!)

    Explore the same way you do with guys and if someone tries to label you as a lesbian, you can just politely inform them that you're not...