She's mtf, identifies as "queer" mainly because in the only non-cis-female person she's ever dated seriously. I'm ftm, identify as pansexual (been feeling closer to Demi lately tho). We get each other, we've been together over 2 years, and we have never had any serious fights, (minor bickering,aye but that's it) it's all smooth sailing. Let me set up a time line. She started HRT a few months before we met. (I was pre-T still kind of dressing femme) We started seeing each other almost immediately, we just click. About 8-9 months into our relationship I started T. She only had some under-spoken hesitations since she is not attracted to men. Otherwise, she was very supportive. The changes started happening, and our sex life took a toll, just as my libido started to skyrocket. After a couple months of near bed-death (unless we had been drinking) she broke up with me, telling me she believed she was a lesbian. It hurt, but I did my best to support her in that and tried to get over it. (It destroyed my self-esteem, and she left me just as I started passing more regularly, so I dropped almost 40lbs and suffered a bit of a drinking problem) Less than 6 months later she is begging me to take her back, that she had acted rashly. After a few weeks of turmoil, I take her back. (I had been seeing someone, who o.k.'d me dating her as well) My gf moves out of state soon after we get back together, with the agreement our relationship be open for both of us, that's fine. My side relationship ended shortly after she moved, she continued to see only cis women up north, I became insecure. She has visited a couple times and it's perfect when she's here, she's moving down soon, so we've been half-planning for me to move in with her a little while after she does. She is the person I want to spend day life with, I had thought I was poly, but now all I want is her. I've been coming to terms with that the past few months, but she seemed to have become more poly (she wasn't when we started dating), I had even been thinking along the lines of proposing once I have the money to buy a ring, looking up how to secretly find out her ring size. Here's where I need advice: I had been having a horrible weekend after being made to feel horribly dysphoric by someone who was trying to get in my pants, (telling me that he would totally have sex with me if I dressed girly, which I'm only okay with when I'm with someone I really, really trust, but I didn't know this guy very well and he was being a major creep and kind of pushy) and I've been feeling incompetent in my struggle to get a job, all of that has been hitting me really hard the past few days, causing severe depression, and she had been actively helping me through it when she decided to unload on me that she's scared for our future together because she has a hard time having any sexual interest in me. We have talked about it a little bit and decided to do couples counseling when she moves back, (and wait until she is post-op, when her libido might balance out, she's not far from getting her surgery) but I just wanted a little advice from other outside eyes. Is there any way that we two, who both feel like we are soul mates in every way except for her sexually, to make this actually work? We both cried during the phone call, and I am just worried this is our other breakup all over again, but that it could be dragged out longer and more painfully. If anyone has any more questions about the nature of our relationship and her feelings on it, let me know. :help: ---------- Post added 15th Oct 2013 at 02:19 AM ---------- It was 3 months before she begged me back, and then another 3 before she moved* ---------- Post added 15th Oct 2013 at 02:21 AM ---------- (Also she was fiercely jealous any time I was alone with my other partner before she started seeing anyone out of state) ---------- Post added 15th Oct 2013 at 02:23 AM ---------- And spend my life with* not day life*
