So I somehow ended up on this site and thought I would ask my question since anywhere else I keep getting negative remarks. I'm 17 male and I luv reading and watching yaoi or yaoi fanfictions and luv looking at the guys in the manga and anime and I'm just like omg so freaking hot!! Now iv been raised as a Christian by grandparents and mom and told to find a wife but few years ago iv just started realizing I look at guys more and whenever. Look at a girl it's just meh. Iv been told gays are wrong and will not be going to heaven and whenever I try to watch gay porn I'm not rlly interested but yet when I try to watch straight porn it's getting more and more uninterested. But reading yaoi or reading it gets me extremely hard and such and I can imagine myself with a man in a relationship kissing cuddling holding hands all that stuff and am content with tht by it scares me. Whenever I d watch straight porn I'm more focusing on the guy rather thn Ty women going damn he's hot and such. Am I gay and if I am how do I come out? Parents are Christian and step dads a gay hater. And yes iv experimented before with kissing and such with another guy and luved it an every time I try to see myself with a women it's just seems forced. I'm so utterly confused and everyone Kees telling me it's a phase ur straight or it's ur hormones prints becuae r reading Yao so ur going to think u are is it or am I gay? Sorry for the log post I just need one help I'm s confused and depressed
Hey there! Have no fear, for you have joined a wonderful community. :3 In all honesty, you do sound somewhat gay to me: a big flag being that you've experimented with guys and loved it and felt forced when doing the same things to girls. As a Catholic, I can also understand why it is scary to know that your conservative family will one day find out. I know I was privileged to have parents that, although Christian, didn't buy into the "gay is wrong" argument. But I do have friends who are in very similar if not identical situations to yours. Understand this: people claim that God said "homosexuality is bad" because of Leviticus... but yet they fail to acknowledge that Jesus in one of the Four Gospels (cannot remember which one atm) flat out said "let no man come between the love of two persons"... thus Jesus is chill with us lol. Still making the point that if they try to use the bible on you, you can be like "lol nope your argument is outdated and invalid". You were created this way, with every detail for a REASON. If they cannot accept that, then they are horrible excuses-for-Christians. As for the idea that "it's just a phase", yes... in a sense: question is a phase, and only YOU know the true answer. No one can tell you what your heart is telling you- it's simply ludicrous if they think they can. And reading yaoi has NOTHING to do with the formation of your sexuality- you like it nd read it simply because it's what you're into. That's like saying reading a book about gardening will turn you into a tomato... like what even. Let's be real here. Be proud of who you are: you are the ONLY you, and no one can change that. If possible, try to find support in accepting friends, seeing that a majority of your family sounds very conservative Catholic. Stay strong kiddo! :3
Ty that helped a lot glad I asked on this site! I just wish everything wasn't so dang confusing lol but what's life if it's not confusing eh?
What im about to say is if you watch porn alot, that could be a few times or more a week.. first off, quit watching porn to decide your orientation. studies show porn can cause 'sexual interest changes' as in, you start escalating to different porn eventually and no longer are excited to your original choice of porn. (Your Brain On Porn | Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn) The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow - YouTube (link for the great porn experiment) will explain why. i used to use porn a whole lot, and ive quit and my attraction is starting to balance out. I still have attraction to men, but my attraction to woman has dramatically increased. its like the way i view woman is different now. im not a 'conspiracy theorist' this is based on my Own experience. as someone who thought they had a sexual ocd problem (HOCD in short) previously, then came out completely as gay, n now has to retract that because it turns out im just bi sexual.
Your not 'supposed' to do anything. it sounds like you don't want to but you feel like you have too. its important to note that you sexual attraction is None of your step-fathers concern, and you do not owe him anything. do not feel like your hiding anything because there is nothing to hide. do you, and let him do him... nah mean?
i think you will find better answers on the section that of this forum for 'coming out advice' because people who have been in your shoes look to answer your question over there, this section is usually for 'finding your sexual orientation' where the other is family/friend relations related... nah meeeen
