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New to this and still decently confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by PeytonRose, Oct 15, 2013.

  1. PeytonRose

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Buffalo, NY
    So I recently realized that I have an attraction to guys. Which I'm slowly coming to terms with but haven't quite managed to grasp quite yet. I've lived 26 years of my life with an attraction to women and have a couple relationships, none of them amounting to anything serious. I had a 2 month relationship with a girl I got hooked up with on a blind date. My second relationship was with my now best friend. She and I dated, stopped, dated again, stopped, and then became friends with benefits. I even lost my virginity to her.

    Anyways. Last year I caught myself checking out guys by the pool. I didn't think too much of it and pushed it aside but I always caught myself checking out the guys by the pool and less and less of the women. Their shirtless bodies, mildly wet with sweat, toned 6 packs just begging to be touched, trailing the fingers down to the waistline.

    Uhm.

    Ahem*

    I found a girlfriend a couple months later but recently broke up with her due to her living in Arkansas and me in New York. I did tell her that I was beginning to notice guys a bit more and more but she didn't really put too much care into it. It wasn't a happy break up aand for all intents and purposes it was quite the opposite (without going into too many details I messed up the breaking up part, screwed it up royally and it led to a huge and terrible fall out that left us both hurt).

    Now I'm left here, I have a mild panty fetish, and more and more I'm noticing guys. I notice girls too, but not as much. Most nights I feel lonely, sometimes I get depressed because I lived 26 years thinking one thing and then find out something completely different about myself. Almost feels like I was living a lie. My mom is a devout Catholic and I really don't believe that she will take the news well either. My mom and my relationship has seen bumpy roads and we just got to a happy spot. I don't want to ruin it but at the same time, I don't feel like I should hide myself from my family members. I mean, they're family, they should be supportive in theory right?


    I'm just not sure what's going on with all of the things going on in my head and hopefully this will be the start of me getting it all down on "paper" so I can better organize things.